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    9 Signs You're Almost 90

    You can't stay 89 forever!

    1. Instead of taking a daily walk around the courtyard, you never get out of bed.

    2. Halfway through a conversation about Mickey Mantle, you realize there is no one in the room.

    3. The doctor says you will be blind by year’s end.

    4. You no longer feel a vague sense of attraction to Nurse Cathy.

    5. You need a seventy year-old to explain to you how to operate the latest Power Scooter.

    6. It hurts to eat or pee or breathe.

    7. You start talking about your wife and realize she’s been dead for fifteen years.

    8. You are so grateful your grandson called, you can't bear to tell him you've misplaced your hearing aid and so you just say "Yes" and "Uh huh" to everything until his voice grows perplexed and pitying, and you feel a loneliness so total you can't speak.

    9. It is too cold in here.