1. Necco has a new custom candy website.
The New England Confectionary Company that brings you wafers and V-day sweethearts also lets you customize the candies by color and size, then create three (very short) messages to put on them.
2. This is fantastic except that it’s run by a mean Puritanical robot who hates fun and funny things.
3. Fortunately the Puritanical robot is kind of stupid.
4. Because this is just fine.
5. And if you use all your most sophisticated human brain powers…
6. You can get this too!
Place your Valentine’s Day orders on the site by Jan. 31 to make sure they get to you by Feb. 14.