3. G-d isn’t sympathetic just because this fancy-ass BLT is made with pancetta, burrata, and arugula.
4. Judaism frowns at even the most silken bowl of shrimp and grits.
5. Yeah sorry, there’s all kinds of crab meat up in this pasta.
6. Looks good right? It is rabbit ragu. Not OK.
7. This burger is made out of camel and to that G-d says “N O P E.”
9. Oh verboten pepperoni, how your edges are so lightly charred.
Photo: Hannah Whitaker / Via nymag.com