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Long-Gone Magazines

Here’s to the magazines who were cut down in their prime… or in some cases, over stayed their welcome. Either way, nostalgia’s always fun. So were these magazines.

1. Disney Adventures

It’s funny that this is the first image I found out of all the covers that existed; this was the last issue I received in the mail before I graduated to the likes of Teen. I did enjoy this as a child, though. They probably wouldn’t have much material to work with if they were still in publication today though. There’s not many ways you can spin Hannah Montana engaged at 19, and pictures of Bieber & Gomez on the beach into ‘kid friendly.’

2. Nick Jr

Another childhood fave. I never subscribed to this one, but I remember the commercials for it vividly.
Teach a spider to fetch.
Get inside a gym teacher’s brain.
Learn the most annoying car songs.
Each magazine has a comic book inside!
Get the magazine that’s just for kids! Nickelodeon Magazine Please!

3. Teen People

Frankly, I think they cut this one off too soon. Even though I tried to get into it when I was in middle school and high school, I was never really obsessed enough with pop stars and celebrities my own age to subscribe to Teen People. (I’m the one who did a book report on Judy Garland in 8th grade.) However, considering how dedicated teens are these days to staying in the know about the daily lives of their icons, it would probably do much better with this generation.

JUMP was a favorite of mine! It was more applicable to the daily life of the average teenager than Teen or Seventeen, and featured more articles and stories by and about teens and young adults, and their real life trials, triumphs, tragedies, and accomplishments. When the interwebz started to become mainstream for every brand, company, and publication in the late 90s, their website was pretty awesome, too (well, “awesome” by 1997 standards.) The editor would respond to each and every message personally.
Ah, the good old days.

5. Mademoiselle

I don’t know why I enjoyed this so much at the age I was when I read it, but I did. And it was the only “grown up” magazine that my mom would let me read when I was 13 - this was before she let me start reading Seventeen Magazine.

I suppose Mademoiselle was classier than its unwholesome (or something) cousins for us younger punks. I didn’t learn how to pronounce the title until much later. (Shut up.) Maybe that’s why they stopped publication. I can’t think of any GOOD reason they would have had. I miss this one!

6. Teen

Somewhere, in some closet of the house I grew up in, is a stack of four to five years worth of Teen magazines, from 1994 and up. I remember the styles and trends being things like pastel lip stick; denim “shortalls” and over-alls, to girly blouses and neon everything. The types of shoes you’d see a Spice Girl wear. (Plastic.) And I love, in retrospect, how they frequently featured lists of the “Top Ten Single Guys” in Hollywood (boy band members, mainly), as if the readers actually had a chance in hell of dating one of them. It listed their turn-offs, turn-ons, and “how to win him over.” I have to appreciate Teen Magazine boosting our self esteem but convincing us we had a chance.

7. All About You!

Two things in particular stick out in my memory about this magazine:
1) The pages and pages of mortifying moments.
2) All the quizzes.

As a teenager, I couldn’t get enough of the “embarrassing moments” sections in magazines. It’s not as if I got my kicks through Schadenfreude or anything; they were just funny and kept me entertained for many bus trips for track meets, cheer-leading events, etc. Then, we’d all quiz each other to find out “who we really were” and “what we were destined to become.” Among other far less pertinent quizzes, Pages and pages and pages of quizzes.

Thanks to All About You!, I know what color I would be, what my ideal job would be, what my Party Personality type is, what my Study Style is, which clique I belong in and which I’d clash with, and oh, what my particular astrological sign means for my financial future.

Good to know.

8. Sassy

The most definitive, quintessential, should-never-have-been-cancelled magazine for teens that ever existed. It was edgy, it was honest, it was urbane… it was, (i hate to do this), sassy. Just enough fluff to be a fun read without making you feel like an air head, and enough substance to make you feel like you knew a thing or two about what was going on in the world - or at least, the style and teen scene. Plus, it’s no-holds-barred, honest approach to dating and relationships was refreshing to those of us who wanted to know what was really going on with people our age.

9. YM Magazine

YM. “Young and Modern.” The Cosmopolitan of teen magazines. (I’m aware the really was a CosmoGirl. It was a watered down version of Cosmopolitan that stuck to fluff and boy bands.)

I remember my dad was cleaning out a desk at the university he taught at one day. He found a HUGE stack of YM magazines - I’d like to hope the professor wasn’t the one reading them. Anyway, he started to bring them home for me to read, but after skimming a few covers, decided they were a little to mature for my 12 year old self, and he tossed them.

One of the most heartbreaking days of my teenage career. So close, yet so far…

Either way, probably didn’t matter. There wasn’t much about YM that made it stand out from any other magazine at the time.

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