18 Things That Happen When You Don’t Drink

‘But how do you have fun if you don’t drink?’

1. People insist on knowing why you’ve chosen not to drink.

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2. They will not be satisfied with ‘I just don’t want to.’

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3. In fact, unless it’s for medical or religious reasons, they generally lack understanding.

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4. The soft drink served at parties and events is always orange juice.

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5. This also means everyone there knows you’re not drinking.

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6. You become secret agent like – for example, if you order a lemonade, no one knows it hasn’t got vodka in it.

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7. Parties are seriously boring unless you’re drunk.

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8. People often ask you ‘but how do you get off with people?’

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9. Sometimes people assume you just don’t like going out at all.

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10. Boozy puddings at restaurants make you cry.

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11. People with hangovers hate you.

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12. When a BuzzFeed quiz asks what your favourite drink or hangover food is, you lie.

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13. You save a lot of money.

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14. You never wake up hung-over, and you can always remember the night before.

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15. You make every decision consciously.

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16. People make you into a project and say things like ‘do you want me to help you get drunk?’

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17. If you’re a girl, people secretly wonder if you’re pregnant.

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18. You are always the designated driver.

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