Scott Brown (R - Whatever)

Scott Brown, the former Senator from Massachusetts, has announced that he will run for Senate again...in New Hampshire. To help explain what Scott Brown would mean for Granite Staters, we’ve enlisted the help of a couple of our favorite funny people who are actually from New Hampshire: Seth Meyers and Sarah Silverman

Let’s start with some history: In 2012, Scott Brown ran for reelection to the US Senate from Massachusetts and was defeated by Elizabeth Warren (who is awesome).

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You’d think that would be enough

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So he took some time off, sent some “pocket tweets”

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Called the movers

And decided to run for Senate in New Hampshire

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But women in Massachusetts weren’t fooled by his anti-woman, anti-family agenda - and New Hampshire women won’t be either.

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Let’s review: He has a history of patronizing and misogynist comments towards women

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This includes, but is not limited to Scott Brown saying he was “surprised” voters didn’t consider Senator Warren’s “character flaws,” and saying “Thank God” Warren “didn’t take her clothes off” to pay for college. Ugh

He once had to apologize to the widow of a cancer victim after accusing her of being a paid actor

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No further comment.

Scott Brown said he was “taken aback” that women’s issues played a prominent role in his 2012 campaign

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51% of the population, but WOMEN, amirite?!

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But Scott Brown has always had a certain knack for the lady legislation

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No, he didn’t.

He was definitely in favor of letting your employer make your health care decisions

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In 2012, Scott Brown co-sponsored and voted for the extreme Blunt legislation that would have allowed employers to deny health care coverage for any moral or religious reason. Massachusetts women didn’t like this -- and neither will New Hampshire women.

He was willing to let 100,000 female soldiers overseas go without comprehensive medical care

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Scott Brown voted against an amendment to allow privately funded abortions on military bases. He also supported the Stupak Amendment, which would have prohibited coverage of abortions by any health insurance product subsidized in any way by the federal government

He’s not really a fan of any women getting comprehensive health care

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Scott Brown voted to defund Planned Parenthood and other critical services for women. And he voted to repeal Health Care Reform, you know, the law that forced insurance companies to stop treating women like pre-existing conditions.

And he certainly doesn’t trust women to make health care decisions alone

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Scott Brown voted for a 24 hour waiting period for women prior to having an abortion and forcing women to look at photos of their developing fetus.

He’s even supported opposition to rape victims seeking emergency contraceptives

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Scott Brown supported an attempt to allow doctors to opt out of offering emergency contraceptives to rape victims.

And New Hampshire Ladies, forget about ending gender discrimination in pay

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Scott Brown made it pretty clear he’s not in favor of equal pay for equal work for women when he voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act. This will be especially interesting to women in New Hampshire who make $0.77 for every $1 a man makes, African American women in New Hampshire who only make $0.73 on the dollar, and New Hampshire Latinas who only make $0.71 on the dollar.

Are you a New Hampshire business owner? Hope you’re not a minority or a woman

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Scott Brown voted to cut $224K from a program that supports minority and women-owned businesses

And just in case you still weren’t sure. Scott Brown himself on whether he’s qualified to represent New Hampshire in the Senate:

"Do I have the best credentials? Probably not. 'Cause, you know, whatever.”

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Because Scott Brown (R - Whatever)