Conversations With A Three Year Old

Most people at my age don't have a little sister as young as mine is. And as interesting, but very grumpy, as mine. Julia is a cute little thing that annoys me half of the time, but her conversations with me can be interesting. Here are two short conversations for your viewing pleasure (and short attention span. Well, not YOURS, but the three year old living in the same house as me). I hope you find them funny, because then you're REALLY out of luck. There's nothing else here BUT these conversations.

6'o clock a.m: I walk downstairs and Julia is on the counter in our kitchen, getting her hair brushed (or trying to)...

Me: Hey, Julia! I like the ruffles on the outfit you're wearing today.

(Please note: Julia is three and can't pronounce certain things. And that she is NOT a morning person.)

Julia: I'm not wearing any waffles today!

Me: When do you ever wear waffles? Anyways, I said "RUH-FFLES," not "WAFFLES."

Julia: I told you alweady: I'm not wearing any waffles! I'm wearing flowers.

Mom: Emily said "ruffles," Julia. LISTEN.

Julia: I am NOT wearing waffles! You leave me alone, Em-i-ly!

Julia was punished for her conduct and later apologized to the said "Em-i-ly."

Telling Julia that we can have some popcorn, which then turns into a lesson on pronunciation...

Me: Julia, we are going to have some popcorn today!

Julia: YAY!! I love "pop-porn!"

(Please note that she is three and has no clue what she is really saying. Thankfully. Yet this did have me concerned for her interactions in public, so I took the liberty of teaching her how to say "popcorn.")

Me: Uh, Julia... before we have some popcorn, you need to learn something first.

Julia: But I want "pop-porn" now!

Me: (to myself) No, you don't. (to Julia) It's "pop-K-orn," Julia. Popcorn.

Julia: "POP-PORN!" (throws her hands up joyously)

Me: (slaps her face with the palm of her hand, aka a "facepalm") "Pop-K-K-orn." "Pop-K-orn."

Julia: "POP-PORN!"

This went on for about ten more minutes, until finally...

Me: "Pop-K-K-orn." Popcorn.

Julia: (ponders this for a moment, then speaks) POPCORN!

Me: FINALLY! Now, let's go eat some popcorn!

Julia: Yeah, some "POP-PORN!"

Me: Oh, dear God...

But we did get some popcorn, not, you know, the other thing. And it was good.

And maybe just a little burnt. But just a little.

So now you have gotten a teensy glimpse of what it is like to be an almost angst-y, hormonal high school student living with a three-year-old demon child (or as close as a three year old can get). And unless you are in the same boat as me (or worse off), you have no right to judge my sullen teenage attitude towards young siblings. As sullen as I may be, I do love my sister and would jump in front of a train to save her. Pretty much do anything, basically.

As always, if you loved this, tell your friends; if you hated this, then this time, you try living with a three year old while trying to survive high school.

I hope you possibly laughed; at least, a little bit. Thanks for reading. Until next time!