1. 30+ Dating: 9 ways to tell if he’s married…
Dating is hard. We all know that, but dating in your 30's is exponentially more difficult. Theoretically, by now we've bypassed a dating scene riddled with adolescent behaviors and childish games in lieu of a pool of candidates that are statistically made up of divorcees, fathers and those still married - or worse - claim to be separated.
The latter is the most problematic of the lot. Most likely, he's not really going to leave his wife for you, and if even he did, do you really want to be next in line so quickly? In our 30's, we have slackened our standards having sifted through viable suitors for more than a decade. We have learned that no one is perfect and seeking perfection leads to heartbreak. However, being bruised and battered by cupid repeatedly has left us vulnerable to the unattainable men that inevitably make up the majority of our dating pool.
So, how do you identify an unattainable man before he breaks your heart?
1.He's wearing a wedding ring. This is an obvious one. However, the funny thing is that they are removable. So, you should also look for a tan line, an indention from where it typically would sit, or a smoothness of the skin around the ring finger. Men have hairy knuckles; the ring will smooth that away over time.
2.He pays with cash. Cash transactions leave no trail for his wife to find.
3.He takes you on frequent trips. He may be trying to get you out of town and out of sight. Vacation equals anonymity.
4.You don't spend lazy Sundays together. Sundays are typically family days. If he's willing to spend the whole Sunday laying in his PJs on the couch with you, you're probably in the clear. (All bets are off during football season, however. No rules defy pigskin.)
5.You've never been to his house. This should be a no brainer, but it's easily overlooked when he whisks you out of town or wants to spend quality time with you at your home.
6.He deletes texts. Again, removing any trace of evidence is a red flag that something is 'off'. Try asking him to resend a text or photo from a week prior; does he still have it?
7.He ignores calls. I love a man that devotes his sole attention to me, but if he frequently ignores calls, you should be wary. These days, no one is ever completely 'off the grid'.
8.You just have that feeling. Women's intuition is not a psychic capability. Its our brains picking up on small cues that do not fit correctly into our usual life scheme - cues slight enough that we don't necessarily pick up on them consciously. Think of it like a recipe…if there is too much or too little of one ingredient, you may not notice, but a collection of minor inconsistencies send up a red flag in smell, sight or finally taste. You don't need to be able to put your finger on it to know it's just not right.
9.Separated is still married. Tread lightly on this one. Regardless of children or separation conversations, if he has not moved out, he's still married. If his parents don't know he's separated, his wife probably doesn't either.
Cheaters are sneaky. They do it for the thrill of the hunt. They do it to compensate for a deficiency in their relationship. And, they do it for pride, to affirm that they've still got 'it'. Another useful research tool is Google; use the web search and the image search. Facebook photos pop up all the time in Google images. Facebook has proved to be way more multifaceted than just finding your high school crush online. The best way to avoid them is to see the signs, trust your judgment and research before you 'buy'.
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