Bird By Bird, Little One
Ever feel blown off by your own parents? My father uttered the same words to me day after day, "bird by bird, em," and it drove me crazy. Now I can see what my father really meant, and it has made all the difference
All my life, my father’s answer to my stress was one simple sentence. “Bird by bird,” he’d say. “But Dad, I have two essays due tomorrow, a test in statistics that I know I will fail, a bake sale I promised I’d make cupcakes for and I feel so sick. I know I’ll never get it all done, and I just don’t know what to do. Should I ask for more time on these papers? Should I stay home tomorrow and get it all done? But then what about the cupcakes!?”
He’d just look at me until I stopped ranting, and then with another deep breath he’d repeat, “Bird by bird, Emo. That’s all you can do.”
At the time, I found this infuriating. He clearly didn’t understand the stress I was under, or maybe he didn’t listen, or honestly, he probably didn’t really care.
Now, as a 20-something about to finish college, I find myself repeating those very words to myself when I’m up to my neck in things to do. “Bird by Bird, Emo. You can do it.” I realize now he wasn’t telling me this to brush off my stress. My father was really saying everything I needed to hear.
Bird by bird. What matters?
My dad was acknowledging that I probably wouldn’t get it all done. He knew it was too much, but he was asking me to choose what matters. Start somewhere. Just because you can’t do it all, doesn’t mean you can’t do anything.
As my life takes form and direction, I picture myself standing in the middle of a town square, my hands stretched forward, spilling over with bird seed. As the birds swarm towards me, hundreds I imagine, I begin choosing the ones I will feed. I feed the ones that matter, the ones I care for. The rest will peck at me and try to get the food, try to get my attention and use my energy, but they won’t hurt me unless I let them. They will not take away my focus.
So bird by bird, I have begun my venture towards adulthood. I’m not worrying about graduation yet, and I’m not worrying about where I’ll be a year from now. Instead, I’m thinking about tonight. I’m thinking about this week and the wonderful times I have to look forward to.
Bird by bird I will invest myself in the things in my world that matter.
Become a Community Contributor.
