1. This is James Marsden, for those of you who may or may not have been residing under a small desert rock.
2. He might be the MOST charming man on this planet. Or most charming-looking man, if you will.
3. He could literally ask you to shave his back hair while listening to Jack Johnson and you’d say “I’ll get the razor.”
4. This man of all mans is nothing less than 97% perfect.
5. Look at THOSE EYES. They’re like huge crystal balls that can’t tell your future but you look at them anyways.
6. They’re spellbinding, entrancing, otherworldly and all those other words that pop up when you google “synonyms for magical”.
7. I don’t know if you noticed or not (you did), his smile is the only one of it’s kind. Literally and figuratively.
8. He’s like a rare bird with a lot of teeth. Like more teeth than normal. Like when he smiles, you can see all of his teeth.
9. He always looks like the perfect combination between your future husband and your future lover.
*KIDDDDDDING. Awk. *My* Future Husband.
10. Look at him with scruff, just look at him.
11. Now look at him without scruff.
12. One more time with scruff.
13. HE LOOKS THE SAME. SCRUFF OR NO SCRUFF = BEAUTIFUL.
14. He’s like a modern day Greek god. Apollo, perhaps? But like, less into arrow-shooting and cursing people and stuff.
15. If Chris Pine and Tom Welling had a baby boy, he’d be named James Marsden. Or whatever they wanted to name him. But, it would look like James Marsden.
16. He’s ageless and refined! Like, a classic Hollywood actor with less hair gel and no cigars!
18. I mean, he’s seriously the cutest. Even here:
19. And here: He’s considerably cuter than this oversized rabbit who’s supposed to be adorable.
20. He’s ALMOST as cute as this German Shepherd, which is saying a lot.
21. I mean, even his tuft of hair! So adorable and spontaneous, just like him. Probably. Maybe? Most likely.
22. If you don’t walk away thinking James is a sexy beast, I don’t know what else to say.
23. He’s beauty and he’s grace, he’s Miss United States.