Drunk Texting: The Pregame To The Morning After

LETsssss Parrrtyyyyyy

It’s been a long week, and it’s finally Friday and you’re ready to round up your girls and get wasted. You’re ready to go out and meet some douche frat guys, creepy grads and all those in between! But let us not forget the inevitable; you’re going to drunk text anyone and everyone, you’re not alone though because you’re friends will be doing it too. So let’s start off at the very beginning: the pregame.

The Pregame

The pregame is where you begin talking to your friends about the boys you don’t want to text and list off every reason why you should not be texting them. Of course your friends give you the best advice they have to offer, they tell you to delete their number from your contacts and recent calls. Your friends are so nice that they even offer to hold on to your phone to avoid all temptations! Now you are ready to go to the party.

The Party

The party is full of hot guys, so you’re feeling good. Your phone is in your friend’s purse so you don’t even feel the urge to text anyone; you’re ready to mingle! You start talking to the hottie that was eyeing you right when you walked through the door and the conversation is flowing. Later on in the night more girls come and soon your guy excuses himself to go get another drink…He never comes back.

You run over to your friend and try to grab your phone, she fights you about it, but your drunk and don’t give a fu** . You come out on top and immediately text everyone whose number you didn’t erase but jokes on everyone anyways because you have all their numbers memorized!

The Drunk Texting

The Drunk Texting: You start off with a simple “Heyyy” because you want to stay classy. You wait about five minutes and he still hasn’t responded, you realize that just saying hey was way too passive, so you ask him what he’s doing. You give it about fifteen more minutes and realize that he still hasn’t responded and you’re pissed and want to know why! You text him something along the lines of “What’s your problem? ” or “did I do something wrong?” Five minutes later he FINALLY responds with something lame like, “Chillin’ how about you?” or “ out with the boys, you?”

You realize that you’re not being aggressive enough so you get to the point and text him, “Do you want to hangout?” You wait about two minutes before you ask him again…and again…and again. If he still hasn’t answered? You send him as many question marks as possible! You keep texting him as many times as you can till you pass out alone in your room.

The Morning After

The Morning After: You wake up so hung-over and immediately reach for your phone. You open your phone and see just a bunch of blue messages, you read over a few but you’re so embarrassed that you have to stop. You delete every single text you ever sent last night so it’s like it didn’t even happen! Finally, you realize that it’s only Friday and that you’re ready to do it all over again tonight!