1. Children's parties are not as fun as they seem.
2. And dealing with children's laughter on a hangover is pretty tough going.
3. Lifeguards feel like heroes whenever they dive into the pool.
4. But really, "lifeguard" just means "cleaner".
5. And duty managers are just lifeguards in shirts.
6. That said, carrying a whistle makes you feel like a boss.
7. But we rarely get to use them. We spend most of our time watching swimmers and conducting an imaginary version of the Olympics in our heads.
8. And none us can be bothered to wear flip-flops when we're on a pool shift.
9. Even outside of work, whenever a siren sounds anywhere, anytime, we expect the waves to begin.
10. Sometimes we wear the wrong name badges, just because.
11. We've learnt the hard way when it comes to confiding in receptionists.
12. We go to extreme lengths to avoid cleaning the ball pond.
13. But we're amazed by the treasures we find when we do.
14. We will always resent 6am starts and working weekends.
15. And we've all fallen asleep in the soft play area at some point.
16. Everyone's had a sneaky portion of chips behind the desk at least once.
17. We have a code word that means "bomb threat".
18. Our hair always smells of chlorine and fried food.
19. But no matter how much we moan, the staff perks make the job worthwhile.
