1. On morning classes:
Incoming college freshmen: you might think u can do an 8am, you might even think u can do a 9am. But the truth is, u can't even do an 11am.
2. On drunken adventures:
to all incoming college freshmen: get a futon because trying to climb to the top bunk when you're 17 shots deep WILL result in bruises
3. On your Facebook posts from 2009:
The best advice I can give to incoming college freshmen? Delete your old Facebook pictures.. Your friends WILL find them
4. On purchasing toiletries:
PSA to incoming college freshmen: do not EVER buy 1-ply toilet paper for your suite's bathroom. never.
5. On sensible fashion choices:
@ incoming college freshmen: do not, under any circumstances, wear your lanyard around your neck.
6. On unrealistic expectations:
PSA to all incoming freshmen – college is not like Pitch Perfect. You will get shunned for organized nerd singing.
7. On one night stands:
To all the incoming freshmen: When packing for college, make sure to bring some self respect
8. On missing home:
Tips for the incoming college freshmen: Hug your mom a little bit tighter these last couple of months.
9. On the frosh week flu:
Advice for incoming college freshmen: remember to bring your immune system with you on move-in day
10. On living arrangements:
Dear incoming college freshmen: choose your roommate VERY VERY VERY wisely😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
11. On the ups and downs:
Incoming college freshmen: You'll be stressed. A lot. You'll fail. You'll pass. You'll cry. You'll have the time of your life.
12. On determination:
To all incoming college #freshmen, GO TO CLASS FAITHFULLY, even if you're failing. Act interested & visit office hours. You will PASS!!
13. On 4 a.m. cramming:
Tip for incoming college freshmen of 2016: don't wait till the morning of to make your speech or write your papers.
14. On making memories:
To all incoming college freshmen. DORM bc you'll have a blast & meet actual friends not just class acquaintances. #SomethingIRegret
15. On sleep deprivation:
Tip to incoming college freshmen learn to love coffee. 😍☕️
16. On *real* responsibilities:
My advice to all incoming freshmen in college: if you don't know how to do laundry, say fuck it and throw that shit in there #guestimating
17. On finding a balance:
Message to incoming freshmen: don't let partying make you lose sight of what you originally came to college to do.
18. On packing:
Dear incoming freshmen, packing for college is more stressful than college itself. I promise.
19. On the freshman 15:
advice for incoming college freshmen: u r gonna get really fat. don't try to fight it, embrace it, enjoy it
20. On hesitation and fear:
All of you incoming college freshmen should not be scared because you are about to have the best year of your life so far
21. On having the best experience of your life:
To all those incoming freshmen at any university: Your college experience is what YOU make of it. No other factors matter.
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