14 Types Of People You'll Find In Your Instagram Feed

#blessed

1. The Selfie Girl

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You know you who are.

2. Mr. and Mrs. CAN YOU NOT

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These two don’t have to actually be married to qualify, but just so obnoxiously and obsessively together at all times that you wonder if they have somehow miraculously melded into one single human being. Hobbies include: kissing, taking pictures of their feet in various locations (i.e, “toes in the water," “relaxing on the couch!”), “snuggle selfies”, and tagging their S.O in romantic quotes.

3. Holy Hashtagger

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Two or three hashtags are acceptable, but any more than that is just bordering on ridiculous. While we applaud you on your #Gains and #StayinOnThatGrind, please find some other way to bond with your #FitFam that does not include endless amounts of hashtags. Often found guilty of hashtag overload are our very own Mr. and Mrs. Can You Not. #SoInLove #TheOne #Forever #AndEver

#No.

4. The Gym Rat

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Scientific fact: your workout doesn’t actually count if you don’t Instagram it. And don’t forget to tag your location so as to leave no lingering doubt that you are, in fact, at the gym.

5. The “Chef”

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Ah yes, the InstaChef. Subcategories include (but are not limited to): the health freak/meal prepper, the girl who declares herself “wifey material” after successfully preparing a box of mac & cheese, and the gem who will kindly list the full ingredient list and recipe for their Paleo pizza, whether or not anyone asked for it. Tbh, unless you're delivering snacks to my doorstep, I'm not all that interested.

6. The Party Girl

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You know the one — the girl who only ever posts pictures when she’s out at a bar or club. The ideal party girl Insta should include a drink in hand, dark, mysterious lighting, and at least one girlfriend on each arm.

7. The Novelist

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Any more than five or six lines and I’m probably not going to read your caption. But on the rare occasion that I do find myself reading one, I end up caught up in some long- winded spiel and three minutes later I’m not even sure what’s happening or how the 27 lines I just read have anything to do with the picture of the salad they posted.

8. The Overachiever

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Sigh. There is always at least one person you follow who has the ability to constantly make you feel like a lazy, insignificant turd. Whether it’s that dude who’s traveling the world and changing lives one orphan at a time or the girl who’s raking in the big bucks at some big-wig corporate job while simultaneously training for a marathon and maintaining the world’s most perfect hair at literally all times (HOW???) — we all know one. We love ‘em, we hate ‘em, we love to hate ‘em. And if anyone needs me, I'll be in bed.

9. The Girl Who Peaked in High School

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Also known as the Queen of #TBT, this particular Instagrammer lives for Thursdays when she can post another great bikini pic from #BeachWeek2007. Ah, the glory days... when problems were fewer and metabolisms were higher.

10. The Proud Parents

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Whether it’s a new baby or a puppy, there is a solid chance that everyone either has been or will be this person at some point. I mean COME ON, your puppy is just so squishy and cute and look at how silly he looks when his paw rubs his face like that!!! Plus everyone knows that puppy and baby pics are Instagram GOLD….

…Until they aren’t anymore. Because it will inevitably reach the point at which your followers would rather stab their eyes out with a fork than be forced to look at one more picture of baby Henry “discovering his earlobes”.

11. The Unicorn

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This rare breed of Instagrammer has some sort of magical quality which enables them to rake in 379 likes on a picture of their afternoon iced coffee. HOW. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?! It’s magical and annoying and you wish you were them. But it’s so impressive that you can’t even be mad.

12. The Spammer

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If you’re posting more than two pictures in one day, you’re doing too much. Instagram wisely people.

13. The Show Off

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You can always count on Braggy McBraggerson to keep you up to date on her newest handbag or pair of shoes. You know, the ones that you couldn’t afford even if you ate nothing but ramen noodles for eight months straight. And we can't forget about that new Michael Kors watch from “the best boyfriend ever!!!”

No. Just...no.

14. The Mancrusher

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Personally, I consider Man Crush Monday to be a hard no 98%* of the time. If you’re dating someone, we can all safely assume that you have a crush on them. We get it. He’s a gem. But posting a weekly brag sesh about your “man candy” is both vom-worthy and bordering on Stage-5 Clinger territory.

*The remaining 2% of the time is reserved for shirtless photos of Ryan Gosling or either of the Hemsworth brothers. Because I’m sorry, but I just can’t be mad at that.