How You Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Irish Goodbye

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was mumbling something about going to the bathroom and then just walking out the front door.

You're out with friends / coworkers.

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You're at the closest bar to your work. The one that you and your coworkers make fun of, but, somehow, always end up at on Friday.

It's late. You're over it. Time to go.

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You've got a hot date with your dog and HBO Go.

But your co-workers are still partying.

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And they're probably talking about taking it to another bar, or worst case scenario, somewhere they can dance.

And you know they're going to give you hell for leaving early.

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"It's only one 1:00 AM and you got up at 6:00 AM and you're tired????"

Or whine at you.

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"But you left early last time, and it's Monica's Birthday, and we're going to go to a dance club by JFK and it's going to be sooooo fun."

And you're dreading the inevitable marathon of goodbyes.

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"Oh my god, you're leaving? Come here you!"

So. Many. Goodbyes.

C'mon people, we're all going to see each other again on Monday.

No more.

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It's time to take back your evening.

It's time to Irish Goodbye.

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Some people call it "Ghosting" and it has other regional names too. But, anyone with a large Irish family knows that the sometimes the only way to escape is to walk away and not look back.

Make an excuse and peace out.

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If it makes you feel better tell everyone you're going to get some pizza, or another drink. Then just walk away.

Or just quietly fade into the background.

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If your friends are moving to another locale, just let yourself get lost in the shuffle. The less reasons your friends have to get suspicious, the better.

You're free. Freeeeeee.

And if anyone questions you later, say they must not remember you leaving.

"Remember? You were all, come dancing, and I was like, no thanks and then we hugged it out?"

Happy Irish Goodbye-ing!

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Now go forth and ditch your friends.