If Danny Dyer Reviewed Classic Works Of Literature

Lots of bollocky words.

In Search Of Lost Time

Via thestar.com

Jesus Christ on a fucking piss tricycle, it's long innit? That Proust's a proper deep fucker ain't he. That bit where he yabs on about soggy tea cakes was so beautiful it gave me a bone on. Sweet as.

Catch 22

Via blog.anaheimoc.org

Quality. Yossarian is a right little turkey though, always getting himself worked up like a mug. And that Major Major Major Major is a cunt cunt cunt cunt.

And a twat.

Middlemarch

Via ies.sas.ac.uk

Loadsa mugs pissing about doin' fuck nothing. Turns out the author's some bird. Fair play darling, but let's have less philosophical whinging and more stabbings. Savvy? Casaubon cunted me right off.

David Copperfield

Via bookcrossing.com

London town in them Victorian days was a full of shitty little mugs. That Uriah Heap deserves to have a tramp piss right in his gob, the conniving little twat. You know that Betsey Trotwood was a sort. Proper naughty.

Animal Farm

Via abaenglish.com

Was gonna read this to the littlen but, fuck me, those pigs turned out to be off their fucking delicious looking nuts. Stay outta politics and get back in my pissing sarnie.

Crime and Punishment

Via readme.cc

Harder work than wiping your arsehole with a box cutter. Dostoyevsky needs to lighten the cunt up. The old bill ain't up to much in Russsia, are they? Dopey little shit pigeons.

Madame Bovary

Via newsouthbooks.com.au

What. A. Cheeky. Little. Sort.

If I was Charles I would have gone round that Rodolphe Boulanger's gaf and nutted the cunt right in his soppy boat.

Brideshead Revisited

Via pinterest.com

Alright until all that pissy spiritual dog muck. I couldn't give a shitting monkey's bollock if that old bastard was a Catholic. I'd crucify a few jager's with that Sebastian fella though. Out of his fucking tree.

Wuthering Heights

Via penguin.com.au

Windy as fuck.