• 1. Edward FlashlightHands

    I can’t love you, but I can find things in the dark.

  • 2. Edward LadleHands

    I can’t love you, but I can eat soup fast.

  • 3. Edward KeyHands

    I can’t love you, but I can open all your doors.

  • 4. Edward MacaroniHands

    I can’t love you, but I’m great for art with small children.

  • 5. Edward HandsHands

    I can’t love you because each of my hands contains 5 hands instead of 5 fingers. And those hands each contain 5 hands. My hands grow exponentially. I mean, really. Come on.