BREAKING NEWS FOR INTERGALACTIC ECOLOGISTS

Concerning Space Whales; consult Encyclopedia of Cosmic Creatures for full species details.

Sonar, Satellites and Space Whale song: The Controversy Surrounding Space Whale Overpopulation.

An interesting phenomenon discovered in the early 90s, space whales are responsible for many cosmic anomalies that were previously believed to be the result of high speed comets. Their aquatic adaptations have proven extremely advantageous in outer space, allowing them to travel at incredible speeds, resulting in the emission of such high light levels that they are sometimes mistaken for quasars.

NASA reports that the increasing population of space whales is beginning to have an impact on Earth-space communications. "Space whale activity has begun to interfere with signals from orbiting satellites" says IO Titan, head of the space ecology department at NASA. "Satellites are constantly picking up space whale song signals these days. If nothing is done it is possible that our satellites will transmit nothing but whale songs within the next 5-8 years." Due to lack of funding, no progress has been made towards getting the space whale population back in check.

One strategy that has been proposed is the introduction of 'space pirates' who's job would be to track and hunt space whales. "It's a little primitive," says Titan "but recent technology has allowed for great advances in high tech harpoon guns that could soon be adapted for space use." Of course the SOSC (Save Our Space Creatures) has had some adverse reactions to this method, stating it is "a gross violation of the Intergalactic Treatment of Organisms Act".

The use of bio control agents has also been suggested. Extantec Inc. has been working on the bioengineering of a species of saber-tooth tiger whose diet would consist of solely space whales. Dr. Duncan has been bioengineering extinct mammals for the past 15 years, and suspects this could be just the solution to resolve the space whale issue. Further adjustments would need to be made to the tiger's anatomy to ensure its speeds would be able to match those of the space whales. "The tigers could even team up with the pirates sweeping the galaxies with their unstoppable whale consuming force" Dr. Duncan imagines, staring glassy eyed towards the heavens.

However the issue is resolved, it is clear that a significant interdisciplinary collaboration will be required. "It'll be great to see how biologists and aerospace engineers work together on this!" Duncan chuckles. Consultations have already begun with the Galactic Center, (G.C.) who NASA hopes will push the US government for funding on the project. However the timing is less than perfect since the G.C. is currently undergoing an investigation into the possibility of a supermassive black hole at the center of the universe. It seems some people believe that the end of the universe as we know it is a bigger problem than their iPhone signals being disrupted by whale song.