Why Frat Bros Make The Best Project Managers

If you ever went to a college frat party (unless you attended BYU, of course) you understand how wild and crazy these ragers can get. But have you ever wondered what goes in to curating the most epic bro-down humankind has seen since Andrew Jackson's inauguration party on the White House front lawn? Read on, and check out why frat bros end up making the best project managers that Bromerica has to offer.

Resource Management: More Than Just Popped-Collar Polos

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Everybody (even this bro) understands that project management starts with making a list of your resources. Even the Kappa Sigma house knows that the most brotastic gatherings are contingent upon organizing people, equipment, and materials.

Harnessing the Power of People: The Four B's

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When it comes to the figuring out who your human resources are, every brofessional knows to keep in mind the four B's: bros, beezies, bouncers, and bartenders. The bros and beezies are a given (okay, honestly, we all know beezies are optional)--but it's the bartender that will keep the kegs tapped and the beer flowing like wine while the bouncer keeps out the underage losers.

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Be Equipped: Gather Your Bro-quipment

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Having a beach-themed bro-party? That bro-quipment isn't going to gather itself! Bust out Chad's sound system, hang up Blake's disco ball, and ask Colt's mom if you can use the old family kiddie pool for some KY Lube wrestling.

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Material Management: Don't Forget to Snag Broceries

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You think you're going to party without brewskies, brewski? Think again. Not only that, but it's not even su-BRO-sedly a rager if you don't have red solo cups around for the beer pong. Don't forget trash bags, either, for when those stupid freshmen squid have to clean up in the morning. Add to that list highlighter body paint, mardi gras beads (Oh it's not Mardis Gras? Well nobody asked you, bro), some extra bro-tein to pump up your biceps before those bro-miscuous dime-pieces get there. Oh, and, of course, a bro-pacalyptic amount of KY Lube for Colt's mom's pool.

Managing Time: Dividing Work Amongst Bros

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So now that we have a list of Broceries and Broterials for you to gather, send your weakest most loserly underclassmen to go buy them. Make sure the other squids are cleaning the house while you do the important stuff: getting your Bro-Seiden on with a shower, decking your wrists and ears with that ice a la Frosty the Bro-Man, and basically making sure you're fresher than a laundry basket full of polos.

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Schedules: Every Bro Has One

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You know what this bro is gonna do when he gets up from his much needed rest? Start preparing for the next party. Why? BECAUSE BROS PARTY, BRO. Besides, every famous bro has had to keep a tight schedule: Bil-Bro Baggins and the Riders of Bro-han had to get across Middle-Earth in good time, and Bro-ba Fett had to deliver Han Bro-lo's carbonite-encased ass to Tattooine ASAP. See? Real-life history is full of bros on a schedule.

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Costs: Beer Money Doesn't Grow On Trees

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Once again, squids are here to shoulder the costs for you. But if you're trying to go-big-or-go-home, you might have to put up some cash for the kegs. Take into account everything you might have to buy, including the materials and equipment mentioned above--but don't worry. Your boy Trent is gonna be at the door charging $5 a cup, so you'll get that skrilla back, guy. And if you're reallllllly going balls to the wall, consider throwing a fund-raiser like a car wash, or a series of KY Jelly Lube wrestling matches.

Contingencies: Brofessionals are Flexible and Prepared

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No, I don't mean that brofessionals do bryoga, I mean that they handle situations correctly by preparing for them. What are you gonna do when the cops get called, bro? Or what about when you run out of beer, bro? Or if Chet doesn't buy enough KY Lube? I'll tell you, bro. One, you're making sure that Trent's checking IDs at the door. B.) You're making sure that somebody stays sober and can drive to the store (squids, obviously). And last, bro... well, I don't know. Just make sure Chet buys enough.

And That's That... But Just In Case You Still Don't Believe...

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So if you don't believe by now that frat bros make the best project managers, let me show you why you're wrong. Key and Peele have uncovered some old footage of Barack Bro-bama from his glory days (click here to watch). What does it show? That even frat bros can become the most important project managers in the free world.