1. You cringe when you find yourself referring to New York as “The City” (especially when you are outside New York)
Your friends from New York constantly remind you that New York and New York City are not the preferred nomenclature.
2. No matter how long you’ve lived in NYC, when you head back to where you grew up, you head home
3. Your parents are fond of calling The City the Big Apple
Every time you call home: “How’s the Big Apple?”
Otherwise, you are only reminded of the nickname waiting to takeoff at LaGuardia.
4. You could not care less about, or outright loathe, the local New York sports teams
Jets or Giants? Yankees or Mets? Islanders or Rangers? Nets or Knicks?
Answer: None of the above.
5. Conversely, you know at least 3 bars that will reliably show the games of your hometown teams
If you don’t, check out these lists.
6. You’ve dreamt about having access to a car again
Oh glorious hatchback, why have you forsaken me?
7. You have an I Love New York t-shirt at the bottom of your t-shirt drawer
It was a gift.
8. You appreciate Shake Shack, but never enough to consider it better than your favorite lunch option from where you are from
“You cannot be serious comparing this to In-N-Out,” you say.
9. You might not agree with New York pizza superiority, but you have learned not to question it
Also, you’ve learned not to bring up Montreal bagels in polite conversation.
10. Your first apartment was not in the neighborhood it was described as being in by the craigslist post or your agent
Suddenly just off the L means buy a bike or airplane.
11. You like to think of yourself as a character on one of your favorite New York-based television programs
Friends, Sex and the City, Girls, Seinfeld, Will & Grace, etc. — That is totally me!
12. You vote by absentee ballot out of state if you can
“You don’t understand; I’m from a swing state.”
13. You still can’t help but stare when you see a famous person in public
15. You’ve gone to a chain restaurant in Times Square to remind yourself of home
This is one of your most tightly guarded secrets.
16. You are always prepared for company at a moment’s notice
Your friend: “Yo man, can I crash on your floor?”
You: “Well, I suppose you could, but I do have 3 inflatable beds and a sleep sofa if that would suit you better. #IKEA”
17. As a result, you do the standard loop of tourist activities at least 4 times annually
Statue of Liberty, Metropolitan Museum of Art, MoMa, Times Square, tickets to The Late Show… I have you covered.
18. You find taxis fascinating
The fact that you can stand on curb with your arm outstretched and (usually) get a ride to most of the places you want to go is unbelievable to you.
19. The thought of moving back to your hometown is always there
“Let me get this straight — You’re telling me that I could live in a 3 bedroom house for less than $1,500 per month?”
20. But you are staying in New York forever!
“Is it rent controlled?”