First of all, there’s really no such thing as not being black enough.
And being told you’re “not really black” is just as ludicrous as the following experiences you may have encountered.
1. You go in for a handshake and things get…awkward.
2. Your friends ask you to join their bands because they assume you’ve got rhythm.
Even if you really, really don’t.
3. You’ve been made fun of because you talk “white.”
Or because you don’t talk “black.”
4. When your friends quote Friday they always look to you for validation.
5. Friends have told you that you’re “not really black.”
Or they’ve pet-named you the “whitest black person they know.”
6. Lovers have been shocked to discover the actual size of your…equipment.
Incorrect assumptions can really kill the mood.
7. Others call you out when you comment on the plight of inner-city youth, since you grew up in the suburbs.
8. People are shocked to learn you don’t know all the words to every 2Pac song.
9. You’re usually the first pick and sometimes the biggest disappointment at game time.
10. When you jump in the pool, your friends are more worried about your hair than you are.
Mainly because every black person in every movie they’ve seen reacts to water like the Wicked Witch of the West.
11. Your cousin says you sound “stuck up” when you use proper grammar.
13. When you sing, people expect Aretha Franklin but get something more like Sara Bareilles.
14. People who have spoken to you on the phone are always surprised when they meet you in person.
15. Some find it strange how much you love country music.
16. When you go out, friends ask you to teach them the latest dance craze… but you may not have heard of it.
17. Your uncle wonders why you use a shower sponge instead of a wash rag.
18. You stay pretty chill when you get upset, which baffles those expecting an “angry black” response.
19. People try to get you to pick “a side.”
As if that’s even possible.