The Secret Life Of A Work From Home Employee

It’s not all daytime television and and naps.

1. You roll out of bed literally two minutes before the workday starts.

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2. Which is the exact amount of time necessary to start the coffee.

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3. And get to work.

4. But first, you gotta check your email!

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5. Oh good, everyone in the office is getting free cake today.

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6. Well, at least your coworkers on Gchat will keep you sane while you work.

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7. But then you realize you can’t remember the last time you left the house.

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8. Or even spoke out loud.

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9. And the silence is getting to you.

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10. So you debate taking a shower and working from a coffee shop for the companionship.

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11. Then realize that would require taking a shower AND putting on pants.

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12. Yeah, no.

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13. Time to focus. Start this project. FOCUS. When was the last time you blinked?

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14. Maybe it’s time to take a break. What’s on Twitter?

15. And Facebook, and LinkedIn, and Tumblr, and whoops, there went an hour.

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16. Oh god, oh god. Panic over whether or not it looks like you’re doing enough work.

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17. Write an email to your boss for validation of work ethic. Delete it.

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18. Realize you never ate breakfast and now it’s lunchtime.

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19. No time to eat, you’re on a deadline. Chug coffee instead to stave off starvation.

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20. Have a hunger-induced hallucinatory breakthrough on the project you’ve been working on.

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21. Hours later, the project is finished!

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22. You go to tell your boss and realize your Gchat been’s off almost all day.

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23. Leading to questions like, “What do you DO all day?” from suspicious coworkers.

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24. But your boss didn’t even care AND loved your work.

25. TIME TO EAT.

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