1. You roll out of bed literally two minutes before the workday starts.
2. Which is the exact amount of time necessary to start the coffee.
3. And get to work.
4. But first, you gotta check your email!
6. Well, at least your coworkers on Gchat will keep you sane while you work.
7. But then you realize you can’t remember the last time you left the house.
10. So you debate taking a shower and working from a coffee shop for the companionship.
11. Then realize that would require taking a shower AND putting on pants.
13. Time to focus. Start this project. FOCUS. When was the last time you blinked?
14. Maybe it’s time to take a break. What’s on Twitter?
15. And Facebook, and LinkedIn, and Tumblr, and whoops, there went an hour.
16. Oh god, oh god. Panic over whether or not it looks like you’re doing enough work.
17. Write an email to your boss for validation of work ethic. Delete it.
18. Realize you never ate breakfast and now it’s lunchtime.
19. No time to eat, you’re on a deadline. Chug coffee instead to stave off starvation.
20. Have a hunger-induced hallucinatory breakthrough on the project you’ve been working on.
22. You go to tell your boss and realize your Gchat been’s off almost all day.
23. Leading to questions like, “What do you DO all day?” from suspicious coworkers.
24. But your boss didn’t even care AND loved your work.
In The News Today