Microscopic Grass Is Happy To See You And Other Links

You will never be as happy as this blade of grass.

Ain’t no party like a Stanley Cup party cuz a Stanley Cup party is getting a little weird and maybe we should all dial it back a notch. - [BleacherReport]

Next time someone gives you crap for drinking too much beer, just assure them that mushrooms are good for you and lay off MOM. - [Esquire]

Amazing one-liners tossed off by grizzled war veterans doesn’t just happen in movies. - [Cracked]

Let’s recast Nickelodeon’s classic Clarissa Explains It All because Hollywood is creatively bankrupt. - [Gurl]

Oh the Internet. Where anything created more than six hours ago is OLD and anything created before 2009 may as well have occurred in a a land before time, so let’s break out some ancient Internet history. - [MentalFloss]

There are hardcore home owner’s associations and then there’s facing jail time for refusing to mow your lawn. - [HLN]

The median American family lost 39% of their wealth during the recession. Depress yourself by reading all about what you could’ve bought with that money. - [Current]

After leaving Earth in 1977, Voyager is about to boldly go where no man-made device has gone before and leave our solar system. - [TheAtlantic]

When trying to engage tween girls to explore interests in math and science, coating it in a girlie pink bubble actually makes it more scary to them. Oh God I have to be hot AND good at math? FML. - [GOOD]

Headline Story: This cross-section of “sand” grass must be so happy because it loves the beach. - [BeyondTheHumanEye]