The 30 Stages Of Nursing School From Start To Finish

Wiping a butt is the easy part.

1. You got in! YAY!

You have been accepted into nursing school! This is SO EXCITING! “I’ll be a hero,” you say to yourself.

2. You get your very own stethoscope! How cool is that?!?

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Which color do you choose? What kind? Adult or pediatrics? You’ve always dreamed of pediatrics, so that justifies spending $200 more than the regular one. Totally.

3. AND your very own scrubs?! Life rocks.

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Of course, your school makes you wear a color that make you all stand out from the rest of the hospital, to clearly label yourself as students. But whatever, it’s cool. You’re still on top of the world.

4. Time for the first class! Fundamentals. Sounds easy, right?

I mean, all it can be is taking vital signs, right?

5. WRONGO!

You soon learn that all answers on tests are correct, but there is only one that is the MOST correct.

6. First day of clinical! CAN’T. CONTAIN. EXCITEMENT.

Until you soon realize that students get a lot of grunt work, and your clinical peers will quickly become your best friends.

7. Then the REAL fun begins. Like the first time you smelled C-Diff.

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That smell will never, EVER leave your brain. You’ve almost thrown up on a patient from the odor….a couple times. Trash can near by is always smart.

8. And your first solo bed bath.

It never fails you get a creepy guy who asks “aren’t you gonna wash me down there?” NOPE. You can handle that yourself when I leave the room.

9. Don’t forget your first shot!

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The patient is all like “is this your first time?” Oh no, ma’am. I’ve done PLENTY of these. On oranges.

10. Getting up early, now? Not even a problem.

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And by early, that means before the sun even rises. You are lucky if you see daylight before you enter the hospital. Non nursing friends be like “oh I have to get up at 8:30, so early!” PLEASE.

11. Finally, a long weekend! I can PARTY!

LOLOL JK you have to study all weekend for those 3 tests next week. You always heard there was a non-existent social life in nursing school, now you really see what they mean.

12. 1st Semester DONE! Now come the specialty clinicals.

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Psych, OB, Peds, Critical Care. NOW the fun can begin, right?

13. Psych clinical- this should be interesting!

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Until the patient tells you the voices in his head are telling him to throw a fire extinguisher at your head. Um. Help?

14. On second thought, some of those psych meds sound good.

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Next thing you know, you’re hitting up the school therapist for anxiety and sleep medicine.

15. Pediatrics! YES! This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for.

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The childrens hospitals are all so colorful and there are toys everywhere! This is what you’ve wanted your whole life! And then you hear getting a job in peds is pretty much impossible. WOMP.

16. Wait, this is only a 4 credit hour class?

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3 hours of in class lecture, 3 hours of online lecture, 3 hours of homework, 8 hours of clinical….Makes sense.

17. Labor and delivery time….can’t decide whether to be excited or grossed out.

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YAY this is so cool! Oh wait..what’s that smell? I love being there for mom and dad! OMG stop screaming it can’t hurt THAT bad. Wait, baby is coming, woohoo! Oh gosh….wow…that’s a big baby. First breath, it’s so precious! Miracle of life!

18. While clinicals have gotten better, lectures have gotten worse.

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WE ALL KNOW WHAT INFECTION IS. But the professors insist on going over it for the 46th time. Time to get some online shopping done.

19. ANOTHER conversion quiz?

We’re seniors now. Do we really need to practice our conversions more? Isn’t there something else more important we could be doing?

20. Wait, is that an A? YES, I GOT AN A!!!!!

You mean to tell me this only counts for 1.5% of my total grade? WHAT? Whatever. I guess I’ll take what I can get.

21. With every good grade comes the bad one.

These stages = 100% true.

22. Just a few more nursing diagnoses….must push through….

You could recite the nursing handbook.

23. “I can’t, I have to study…” is what your friends expect you to say when asked to hang out.

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And by study, you mean spend 1 hour doing mindless things on the internet followed by 30 minutes of half-reading over the notes, followed by another hour spent watching Netflix, followed by 15 minutes of reading the book, followed by a 3 hour nap.

24. It’s October, which means 9 weeks until Christmas! PUSH THROUGH!

Until you realize that this will be your last Christmas break. Ever. After this, work work work.

25. You start getting a little sentimental about your time in nursing school.

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After all, you have spent all of your waking hours with these people.

26. But then you suddenly remember all the late nights spent in the library.

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Okay, so it’s a little bittersweet.

27. Just think, only 1 more semester after this!!

Graduation is SO close!

28. You start to freak out a little.

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In less than 8 months, you will be a real nurse. Responsible for real lives.

29. Then you realize, that pinning ceremony will mark the end of an era.

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Graduation is just a step away. Through all the joys, tears, the laughter, the late nights, and the frustration, you have almost made it.

30. Congratulations on making it this far, you’re an all star!

Finish school strong and go make differences in people’s lives. YOU ROCK!

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