1. Whenever you heard this man’s voice around your house, someone was probably drunk and/or crying.
It was most likely your dad.
2. You’ve been disciplined with at least one of these.
Your mom turned into fucking Hawkeye with the shoe in her hand.
3. You’ve gotten this text at least twice a day.
And you almost shit your pants.
4. Homemade tortillas still make your mouth water.
You don’t even use forks anymore.
5. Your family takes soccer a little too seriously.
It’s always the ref’s fault.
6. There’s still a family rivalry over these two teams.
If you chose a different team than your dad, you were no longer his child.
7. You know at least one person with the Virgin de Guadalupe on their car.
Or tattooed on their arms or back.
9. Your mother would always threatened you with “El Cucuy.”
Or la Llorona. The Chupacabra was reserved for special occasions.
11. The car always looked like this.
“Get in, there’s still room!”
13. There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.
16. “IT’S CINCO DE MAYO! HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!”
Sept. 16: Mexican Independence Day.
May 5: Battle between Puebla and France. We won. Unless you live in Puebla, no one celebrates it.
18. During Ethnicity Day at school, your costume was always the best.
19. When your family is yelling in Spanish and all your friends are just like:
Bonus points if it’s a party or they’re all drunk.