1. When does the season start?
2. When does the season end?
3. Why does it feel like the season never really ends?
4. Why do people paint their entire bodies? Won't they get hives or something?
5. What's a foul?
6. Why is there a pre-season?
7. Do pre-season games count towards anything?
8. Why is this game so damn long?
9. What's so special about box seats? They seem so far away.
10. How do some people always seem to have tickets to a game?
11. What's with doing the ridiculous dances in the end zone? This ain't the club.
12. Where do the injured players go???
13. Why is everyone screaming?
14. Why isn't that a foul?? That looks like a foul.
15. Why do they get paid so much?
16. Why do players get traded?
17. What's a free agent?
18. How does a fantasy league work?
19. Why do people even have fantasy leagues?
20. Are the players on fantasy teams real or nah?
21. Why do they hit each other SO hard?
22. What's an inning?
23. Why are baseball games never ending?
24. What is the point of golf?
25. What's up with all the grunting in tennis? It makes me feel uncomfortable.
26. How are they all so big? Like, seriously. They're huge!
27. Why do they keep touching each other's butts?
28. How many quarters or whatever are there?
29. Can we go get some food now? I'm bored.
30. Why is everyone trying to distract him? That's so rude!
31. Why are we watching this? It just seems so violent. WE'RE ANIMALS.
32. Just how many innings are there???
33. The clock said there were 15 seconds left but it's been an hour whyyy???
34. What the hell is a shot clock?
35. Umm... ok, but why is it only 24 seconds?
36. Whose idea was it to make it 24 seconds instead of like, 25?
37. What's a bracket?
38. Do you make a bracket or are they just readily available?
39. Why do people get so mad if it gets messed up?
40. How does a bracket even get messed up??
41. Is a messed up bracket even a thing???
42. When's the commercial break?
43. Why do the coaches spit so much? How does anyone have that much spit?
44. Why does the crowd do that standing wave thing?
45. What's the point of soccer?
46. Why does it take soccer players foreverrrr to make a goal?
47. What does FIFA stand for?
48. Why can't baseball just be about hitting home runs? It would simplify it A LOT.
49. What's Michael Jordan up to these days?
50. Why do the players run into each other during football? It doesn't make sense.
51. Wait, this game isn't over YET???