12 Truths By A Unemployed Recent College Graduate

It's September! It's about that time school would be starting again but lucky me. I graduated in June, and still don't have a job. So instead of applying to jobs today I decided to make a Buzzfeed. 12 truths that I've come to embrace whilst sitting on the couch hugging my dogs crying because I went to school for 5 year to get an arts degree.

1. Sleep? Often.

When life gives you lemons, take a nap. Meaning, when life throws you problems, just take a nap. It might not help solve the problems but naps are fun.

2. Hating? Occasionally.

Someone just wrote a Facebook status with good news about getting a job and I commented on it and said congrats. Then a bunch of other people started to comment similar things and I kept getting notifications reminding me of how better other people are at being an adult. So I deleted my congratulatory comment.....this is not my first time doing this. I felt bad for a couple seconds. Then I remembered I have peanut butter and jelly flavored Ben & Jerrys and stopped caring.

3. Practice? No..

Practice doesn't make you perfect. It makes you tired. Be born perfect.....it's less work. You're welcome.

4. Set Goals? A Must.

Everyone is like "first day of school, first day of internships, first of day of new job" and I'm over here having a celebratory breakfast because today was the first day I woke up before noon since I graduated college. #FeelingAccomplished

5. Apply to Job? CONSTANTLY.

You know what time it is? Time to apply to more jobs.....yay.....*punches self in the face*

6. Money? Bitch please.

I want lots of money. I dream about it....then wake up and cry when I realize I don't have it. It's not funny....I want lots of money.....oh and tacos. - a poem by Dewayne Perkins

7. Netflix? Like it's your child.

Netflix recommended Mulan II to me. I feel like by the end she should be coming out as a lesbian. Maybe its just me but i think she was on a pretty straight path to lesbianism in the first movie. If I watch it and she isn't a lesbian by the end I'm going to be highly disappointed. So I'm not gonna watch it. Im just gonna pretend like I watched it and it ended with her getting a faux hawk and a neck tattoo.

8. Drinking? Only on days when you don't work...EVERYDAY.

You know what 8am job interview mean? 9am margarita.

9. Friends? Relationships? If you can afford them.

I kind of wanna get married just so my friends can make speeches about how great I am....I need a confidence boost. Oh yea and love and all that good stuff but mainly for gifts and compliments....and an open bar

10. Exercise?....HA!

I turned on Insanity, thinking, I need a break from homework, why not do some exercise? Be active ya know. I made the mistake to sit on the couch as it came on and wait for the exercises to start....and now I'm just sitting on the couch eating a zebra cake, drinking milk, and watching these people exercise like its a movie. And I am super ok with this right now.

11. Food? It's a religious experience.

I hit rock bottom. I just bought a McChicken at McDonald's just to eat while I wait in line for my food at Potbelly.

12. The Future? Bright!

Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and follow your dreams. *quits everything and becomes Power Ranger*