The 10 Happiest, Most Bliss American Sports Cities

A definitive list of cities whose teams have won no matter what, whether it was gutter-balling the regular season, being filthy-rich or just plain lucky.

10. Dallas, TX

Though not being noted for its other sports teams, the signature franchise playing the signature sport of Texas and its relative success to other NFL teams elevate Dallas into a bliss list.

The Cowboys are tied with the Steelers for the most Super Bowl appearances (8), with five Vince Lombardi trophies in their possession, including a span of three titles in four seasons (and being the beneficiaries of the Herschel Walker trade). Their owner, Jerry Jones, is frequently noted as a dynamic owner in the NFL. They have their cheerleaders and the press coverage. And they are nicknamed "America's Team," with their brash of followers nationwide to follow all-things Cowboys. The mediocre Romo teams of this generation can be excused on the grounds of the cheerleaders, alone.

As for their other sport teams, it's been hit-and-miss. Arguably the least followed Dallas team of them all, the Stars did bring the 1999 Stanley Cup title in one of the most controversial ways in NHL history ("No Goal"). After years of anguish, the Mavericks brought home the NBA championship in 2011 as heavy underdogs against the Miami Heat. And the Texas Rangers? Well, they did win back-to-back American League pennants (the 1st AL team not being the Yankees to pull off the feat since the 1992 and 1993 Blue Jays). So there's that.

Seriously, despite the struggles of the Cowboys lately, it's hard to count how many fans of other teams want to trade their team's legacy with that of Dallas.

9. Detroit, MI

OK, so this city's profile is a matter of one team covering the riches for the others. Let's get the ugly facts out of the way:

The Lions haven't won an NFL championship of any kind since 1957 and only have one playoff win in that time (1991 NFC Divisional vs. Dallas). Some attribute this to the "Curse of Bobby Lane," where the traded star proclaimed that his former team wouldn't win for the next 50 years. Barry Sanders retired early, while the 2008 team became the 1st team to lose every game in a 16-game NFL season (coincidentally, it came at the end of Lane's jinx). The Tigers, meanwhile, have only won two World Series since the end of World War II, allowed old Tiger Stadium to fester and spoil rather than have it be preserved, and have gone only 1-8 in World Series games during the Leyland-Verlander administration. The Pistons have won three NBA titles but could have won more if the cards fell into play (1987, 1988, 2005, 2006 and 2007), dismantled their defensive cores in both championship eras and are now in the category of "bottom-feeding craptacular NBA teams."

The Red Wings, however, cure most of the city's sports ails. With their 11 Stanley Cup titles, being the team best utilizing the influx of Russian talent in the 1990s and frequently performing their best in the postseason, Detroit is put into a bliss sports cities list.

8. St. Louis, MO

Teams from cities with relatively small populations shouldn't appear in this list. The amount of riches covered by St. Louis teams and their knowledgeable fans, however, provide a great exception to the rule.

Baseball is unanimously the king sport for this city, most headed by the Cardinals. 11 World Series titles, an encyclopedia of hall-of-famers, the lore of Slaughter, Gibson, Ozzie, Jack Clark, Pujols, Freese and others, and the come-early, leave-late attitude of their fans are things fans from other teams feel jealous of. This, before realizing that there used to be a 2nd MLB team in the city (the Browns, relocating to Baltimore to be the Orioles in 1954).

Then there are the Rams, brought over from Los Angeles in 1995 by local hero, Georgia Frontierre. Brought to St. Louis in time for the "Greatest Show on Turf," with Kurt Warner, Marshall Faulk and Issac Bruce, the Rams won two NFC titles and Super Bowl XXXIV. Then there are the Blues, who despite a lack of a Stanley Cup title still hold a passionate fan-base.

Even without the Rams or Blues, St. Louis sports fans would live bliss lives because of the Cardinals alone.

7. San Francisco, CA

OK, San Franciscans. The 49ers have had deep runs of late but had them end in frustrating ways. Would you trade those fates with those of the current Browns or Bills? Would you trade them for those of the current Dolphins or Jaguars?

I rest my case.

Yes, reaching the NFC title game for three straight years haven't produced optimal results (1-2 record, with a loss in Super Bowl XLVII in the middle). But having Joe Montana and Steve Young guide Bill Walsh's and George Siefert's offenses, to the tune of five Vince Lombardi trophies, winning a Super Bowl virtually in your backyard (XIX), winning such with the most complete single-season team in NFL history (the 1989 team), and the proud embarshment of nugget-gold completely gets this city off the suffering hook.

If that doesn't put San Francisco into the most bliss list, then the Giants World Series titles in 2010 and 2012 will do, doing it with an 8-1 combined record. As for the Warriors, San Francisco fans have one of the most interesting teams to follow in recent memory, with Stephen Curry running the show.

Notice that Oakland's Raiders and Athletics and the San Jose Sharks were omitted. In truth, they could have been added into San Francisco's teams and wouldn't affect their ranking in a bliss list. But due to noted rivalries between the Bay Area designations, this entry has the main city claim only the 49ers, Giants and Warriors (shared reasonably between all Bay Area designations).

6. Miami, FL

Of all the entries in this list, Miami is noted for having the most fickle, fair-weather fan-base. But this list comprises championship expectations and conversions by cities, so it's fair-game to see Miami on here.

To summarize, Miami teams directly affected the fortune of two Cleveland title opportunities (1997 World Series, LeBron) and could have had a 3rd such stranglehold had the 2003 Fiesta Bowl ended differently. Their Marlins have won two World Series titles, all while ripping hearts in Chicago and Cleveland in the process, to be later accompanied by fire sales the following year. The Heat have won three NBA titles, all mired in controversy and scandal (2006 referee fixing allegations, the LeBron era). The Dolphins won back-to-back Super Bowls in the mid-1970s, one of those through the completion of the NFL's only perfect overall season. And the NHL's Panthers? Well...at least there's hockey in South Florida.

But those cases of fickleness have gained notoriety over the years. Well known cases of Heat games not selling out despite LeBron playing, Heat fans leaving an NBA Finals game despite the team being able to win in improbable fashion, Marlins fans failing to sell-out World Series games despite playing the Yankees and Marlins fans being quiet throughout the fleecing of taxpayer funds by Jeffrey Loria have given this city a black eye in its fan-hood reputation. But players in Miami will continue to win championships whether or not fans show up, so the city is right up there in bliss cities.

5. Los Angeles, CA

Just like Detroit, Los Angeles has the case of one franchise covering the spread of other team's fortunes. Unlike Detroit, however, that crutch team is on the decline, to the changing of the guard with other teams.

Let's start with the up-risers. After being the city's sports doormat, the NHL's Kings have placed a firm foothold in this town's landscape. A Stanley Cup title in 2012, reaching the Western Conference Finals the next year and in contention for 2014 puts this once joke-of-a-franchise into the mix of Cup players, alongside the Blackhawks, Penguins, Bruins and others. The Clippers, meanwhile, has, at long last, franchise stability, with Chris Paul play-making Blake Griffin and the rest of Doc Rivers coaching style. The Galaxy are the beneficiaries of eight MLS Cup game appearances and four championships, all with some of the most well-noted players around the world. The Dodgers, under the Guggenheim ownership, have moved from the torture of the McCourt era to contending for a World Series title in a short period of time. Not even the lack of an NFL team can dampen the spirits of this city.

Then there are the Lakers. The veto of the Paul trade, the disastrous handling of Dwight Howard, the over-trust of Kobe Bryant despite an Achilles tear and the general neglect from Jim Buss have sent the Lakers onto hard times. However, 11 titles in Los Angeles, the famous "Laker Girls," the "Showtime" era, a slew of hall-of-famers, Chick Hearn and the adamation of purple and gold have more than provided stories for Los Angeles sports fans in the meantime.

4. Pittsburgh, PA

It all began with a towel.

Trying to unite Pittsburgh into one, radio host Myron Cope suggested the waiving of black and yellow towels in 1975, and from that point-on, the city's sports luck changed for the best.

Of course, the prime team in the city are the Steelers, the 1st NFL team to claim six Vince Lombardi trophies. Along with those pieces of hardware include numerous hall-of-famers, menacing defenses in the 1970s ("Steel Curtain") and 1990s, and questionable officiating outcomes favoring Pittsburgh.

Then there are the Penguins. After back-to-back Stanley Cup wins in the early-1990s, former player Mario Lemieux rescued the franchise from the financial abyss, in-time to acquire Sidney Crosby and all his talents, including leading Pittsburgh to being the 1st road team to win a Game 7 in any of the major sports championship series in 30 years (1979 Pirates were the last to do so prior).

Speaking of the Pirates, things haven't been swell since Sid Bream shot the Pirates out of the 1992 World Series. But after breaking a 20-year winning season drought, the Pirates, with their current core in tact, are set for many great things, to the addition of awesome things for Pittsburgh sports fans.

3. Chicago, IL

No way in hell can Chicagoans ever call their city a "championship-starving" one. Not with Michael Jordan playing there in the 1980s and 1990s. Not with two Stanley Cups in the 2010s. Not with one of the greatest single-season NFL teams of all time (1985 Bears).

And don't get me started on the whole, "Chicago is a tortured sports city because of the Cubs" bullshit. If this discussion was between the city's baseball teams only, then yes, the case of the Cubs going 105 years between world titles and 69 years between National League pennants, along with the case of the White Sox going 88 years between their 1917 and 2005 MLB championships (with the "Black Sox" scandal being the catalyst for their despair) can claim stakes in baseball suffering.

But let's see the city's other teams:

The Blackhawks have undergone a renaissance under Rocky Wirtz, with Patrick Kane, Johnathan Toews and Corey Crawford anchoring the team to two Cups and being the favorites in 2014. Arguably the most lovable single-season NFL team to ever play graced the shores of Lake Michigan in 1985, in the form of the Bears. And of course, Michael Jeffrey Jordan and his Bulls destroying the fates of his competitors in route to six NBA titles in eight years for the city.

There's Chicago in a nutshell, and yet fans there still cry wolf because of the Cubs. Sheesh; imagine the insufferability the whole world will be subjected to if the Cubs do win the World Series.

2. Boston, MA

In reality, the top two teams in this list compete in a Cold War-style arms race, of who can out-do the other in championships, ripping the hearts of woeful cities and their fans, and harnessing the greatest media attention. Though Boston fans have been under a Pax Romana era for the better part of a decade, they still have a lot of ground to make up from the #1 entry.

Nonetheless, Boston sports fans in generally have been universally accepted as insufferable loudmouths, always claiming that their teams have had noted title "droughts," and that fans from other cities should stay away from Massachusetts at all times. But the sad truth is that their teams have all their championships to back up the talk.

Of course the 1st team of New England are the Red Sox. Sure they had the "Curse of the Bambino" striking over them for 86 years, but three World Series titles in the last 10 years, starting the trend of fanbase "nations" and controlling aspects of the national sports media certainly make people forget about Bill Bucker (maybe). Then there are the Celtics, with their 17 NBA championships, their dominance of the 1960s, Bill Russell and Larry Bird, Red Auerbach and the mystic forces of the parquet floor at old Boston Garden providing the winning edge for Boston's NBA team. The Patriots have had riches under the Bellichick-Brady administration, cashing five Super Bowl appearances and three titles, all under a heap of arrogance and disgust to non-Bostonians. Even the Bruins, all plain and tall, skated away with the Stanley Cup in 2011 in Game 7 in Vancouver to complete the quatra of major Boston championships.

Hard to believe that Boston's current era of sports power began with the hit from Mo Lewis on Bledsoe in 2001 to bring in Brady. And with that, the sports would would change forever...

1. New York City, NY

Really? Was there any other American sports city with such a nefarious, lengthy sports track record?

In truth, New York City represents everything of America, of the whole mantra of "making it big in the city," of "being filthy-rich like drunken, Wall Street sailors" and of "quashing the desires of all things inferior." Composing the most teams in the biggest media market with the most scrutiny placed on its athletes in all of the land, NYC represents its own sports dimension...from another planet...from another galaxy.

To be fair, the despair of New York City fans can be gauged at his or her rooted interests. No real sports fan cheers for all the teams playing in the city. In most instances, the split of NYC allegiances are Yankees/Rangers/Knicks/Giants and Mets/Jets/Nets/Islanders. Of course fans in the latter bloc will suffer more than those in the former, though the Isles remain the last team in any sport to have won four consecutive league championships, the Mets have won two World Series in miracle ways and the Jets were guaranteed a Super Bowl win by Broadway Joe.

But those in the 1st bloc have it unbelievably spoiled (well, maybe not the Knicks), so let's cut to the chase: 27 World Series titles by the pinstripes, a 1994 Stanley Cup by the Rangers through Messier's guarantee, the Giants winning four Super Bowls with three of them coming down to the wire...and the Knicks.

So yeah, the whole world would rather want New Yorkers to keep their team allegiance fighting to themselves, and not let the whole world hear about it. And this is before addressing the sharing of metropolitan sports rights with New Jersey...

Ah hell with it. Here you go New Yorkers; #1 in the happiest sports city list. We're done. Just be done with this list. And I don't want to hear about the Yankees "suffering" anytime soon (though this will be shoved up America's ass by the sports media).

Ugh.