Post Apocalyptic Childbirth

Congratulations! You’ve gotten through the nine (ten) months of pregnancy! By now, your back is constantly sore, you have cankles, you can’t see your feet, and you spend 23.5 hours a day in the bathroom/outhouse because Junior’s favorite hobby is playing football with your bladder. And then…you get these horrible (and horrifying) cramps that make you think your insides are being ripped apart by a hungry T-Rex with extra-sharp claws and teeth. You know what this means, right? Yep, labor. And that means your baby is about to arrive. It’s time to prepare for the delivery, because Junior could make his or her appearance in five minutes. Or he/she could wait thirty-six hours. I don’t know; it’s hard to tell. But it’s best to be prepared.