First we got the "Emo Kylo Ren" parody Twitter account. Now we have "Very Lonely Luke".
His location is listed as The First Jedi Temple (Skellig Michael off the coast of Ireland IRL), and his profile reads: "I'm a hermit. I live by myself on this water planet. I don't need people. Really, I'm fine. Please don't leave me."
Very Lonely Luke has problems letting go of the past.
Probably the worst date I've ever been on was the time I almost died rescuing the girl of my dreams and she turned out to be my sister.
Crikey, he's really bitter about that whole fucked-up family situation of his.
Why is everyone I meet related to me? That wheezing guy? Dad Hot chick in the toga? Sister That R2 unit? Probably my son or something.
I met my dad & sister on the same day We didn’t recognize each other Dad tried to kill me I blew up his house Worst family reunion ever.
Hmm, who's going to be the one to update him on the most recent family news?
I haven't seen Kylo Ren in years. I wonder if he's outgrown his Dark Side phase yet. I bet he and Han worked things out. Good for them.
Those daddy issues are still mostly unresolved.
I had 10 minutes on an exploding Death Star to really get to know my dad. It was about 5 minutes too long Most of that was awkward silence
When I face a tough choice, I ask myself, "What would my dad do?" Probably kill a bunch of Padawans. I should find a new role model.
He's not crazy about his surroundings.
My water planet Yelp review: Lots of water. Some rocks. Too many stairs. Not handicap accessible Nearest toilet light years away 1 star
Moss. Moss. Moss. Fish maybe? Nope, moss. --the captions for all my Instagram meal pics
Shit has gotten real for poor Luke.
Hey @Charmin, can you hook me up? I came to this planet 20 years ago, and I only brought one roll. Kind of a crisis here.
I was counting on a resupply, @Charmin You don't want to know what I've been using instead OK, I'll tell you Rocks Pointy, jagged rocks
Mostly, his tweets reveal the profound depths of his loneliness and isolation.
I threw a boomerang today. It didn't come back. Nothing ever comes back.
Sometimes I don't know why I get out of bed. Then I remember I don't have a bed. I sleep on rocks. It still hurts less than my loneliness
I met a new rock today. His name is Rock. Things are going well between us, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I've been hurt before.
Still, at least he can acknowledge there are things much worse than being totally alone.
Maybe I should have brought R2-D2 with me. I could have listened to him beep. All day. Every day. Forever. No, I made the right call.
Plus he's kept his sense of humour.
Before I left I called Kylo Ren a Sith And he goes "I'm a Knight of Ren" So I said "Same Sith different day" I planned it. It was awesome
And all that alone time has really got the creative juices flowing.
They should make a movie about these wars in the stars It just needs a title How about "Luke Has Lots of Friends and Isn't Lonely at All?"