1. "Yes, I see you. Oh, we're about to become real good friends."
2. "Watch this guys, I'm gonna just dunk my whole face into this beautiful bitch!"
3. "Yeah, that should be a big enough slice. I guess."
4. "OK kids, you're cute and all, but repeat after me: 'Hillary doesn't share food'."
5. "Stop f*cking distracting me, it's hard enough to decide what to order as it is."
Stopping for ice cream in Derry, NH. (Where else?)
6. "Oh man. Me, this cake, my couch, Netflix: Best Saturday night ever."
7. "Look at this. I won't lie to you, I feel like I could marry this cake right here, right now."
8. "How f*cking long do I have to sit here until I get some bloody dessert? I mean, seriously!"
9. "No, you can't try mine. You picked vanilla flavour, you're stuck with vanilla flavour."
10. "So what you're telling me is: there's no cake? Not even a cookie? See, this is why I'm running for president."
Tea and good company for #SmallBusinessWeek. Thanks, @mayoredlee! -H
11. "Status update: they're only serving tiny bread rolls. No sweet treats. FML. Take us to DEFCON 1."
12. "I'm not being funny, but if you order the last piece of pie again, I will have to throw down."
13. "I wonder how many calories are in that? Ah f*ck it, I don't care."
14. "The rule is: never order cheesecake when there's chocolate anything on the menu."
15. "Balls, there's no classy way to eat this, is there? I DON'T EVEN CARE!"
16. "That's right, take the coffee fondant. The toffee ones are all mine, bitch."
17. "Skip dessert? Bah ha ha ha ha. Oh girl, you crazy."
18. "Fruit for dessert? FRUIT?! I can't even. I'm out."
