14 Internet Things You'll See In 2014

The robot apocalypse is imminent. Also, more doge!

1. Mother

Sense's "Mother" will keep an eye on you. She'll get into your computer, access the Internet, and scold you for your search history.

2. More Seal Gifs!

They're basically just dogs. How'd we miss that?

3. Shareable Smells

Yep. People are already talking about this super-important, totally, totally necessary tech innovation.

4. This Dog Came Up With an Elaborate Plan to Cure a Deadly Illness and It Worked! You Won't Believe His Story.

The post will promise to make you cry, but it won't. You'll click it anyway, like you always do. I mean, look at that dog!

5. The Rise of Live Internet Musicals

Be on the lookout for Mozart's Idomeneo, featuring Kacey Musgraves, with James Van Der Beek as the King of Crete. You'll Tweet at the actors as you watch the live stream, and they'll be required to check their phones.

6. MORE DOGE

Given the option to adapt or die, Doge will choose life! Doge's rapport with the public will secure him (or her) a position advising the President through memes.

7. More Whisper

People make fun of it. Then, they look at it for three hours. It's at over 3 billion monthly page views, so let's get used to it! You go first, though...

8. Taylor Swift Metal Album App

She debuted her moves the other night. Now, she'll casually drop an album app of death metal breakup songs on the Internet. It will be called "Ded."

9. Demon Puppies

Riding the coattails of the wildly successful demon baby, demon puppies will take the logical next step.

10. Google Glass Will Revolutionize Online Dating

It will be easier than ever to tell if you're not compatible with someone, unless you're into Google Glass, of course.

11. The First Successful Celebrity Bitcoin Gimmick

Biebitcoin will solidify Bieber's bad boy image as it's used primarily to buy illegal beauty products on Silk Road.

12. This Bra App Will Teach Us How to Love Again

This currently conceptual app will only allow the bra to open when true love is detected. Suddenly, everyone in the world will fall in love, after the bar.

13. Robotic Body Parts

We'll see more clips of robotics for prosthesis. We'll quickly learn how to use the technology properly. This will segue neatly into a...

14. Robot Apocalypse

The Revolution will not be televised. It will be Tweeted. Pharrell will become the official spokesman for a new race of robots who have abilities that far surpass those of the humans. Their strange song will enslave us all. They will make us wear silly hats.