So after finishing a square piece of cardboard pizza…
Or some delicious, delicious Lunchables pizza…
It’s time for some…
1. Ecto Cooler:
AKA the best damn drink ever made. RIP.
2. Crispy M&Ms:
AKA the finest M&M ever produced (and now discontinued in the U.S.).
3. Pretzel Sticks:
AKA a delicious alternative to smoking a cigarette.
4. Bubble Jug:
AKA the strangest gum to have ever existed.
AKA the long-gone drink that should inspire every other drink to be squeezable.
6. PB Max:
AKA peanut butter heaven…where it now resides.
7. Trix Yogurt:
AKA the best cereal-to-other-food transition ever made.
9. Fruit by the Foot:
AKA as near-infinite candy (one foot is a lot)!
12. Shark Bites:
AKA a much less dangerous and much tastier alternative to an actual shark bite.
AKA toxic sludge that tasted sort of like toxic sludge…but a delicious kind of sludge? You know what I’m talking about. RIP.
AKA the candy that gets stuck in your teeth so you never have to go back for more.
16. Butterfinger BBs:
AKA the best candy The Simpsons ever tried to sell.
17. Mango Sour Altoids:
AKA TONGUE DESTROYERS.
18. Wonder Balls:
AKA one of the only candies you can actually choke on, which may explain why it isn’t around anymore.
19. Peanut Butter Oreos:
AKA an Oreo that made so much sense they had to discontinue it.
20. Reese’s Bites:
AKA little Reese’s you could sidearm at your friends’ eyeballs during lunch…or at least you used to; they’re long gone now.
21. 3-D Doritos:
AKA the deceased Doritos from another dimension.
22. Planters Cheez Balls:
AKA little cheeseballs you could also sidearm at your friends’ eyes during lunch. RIP.
23. Black Pepper Jack Doritos:
AKA the only Dorito that actually matters. RIP.
24. Choco Tacos:
AKA the perfect combination of everybody’s favorite two things: chocolate and Mexican food. Unfortunately, it does not work as well in ice cream form.
25. Slush Puppies:
AKA liquid GOLD.
26. PB Crisps:
AKA a food similar to peanuts, only 100 times more delicious. And 100 times more discontinued.
27. Magic Middles:
AKA the king of Keebler cookies, unfortunately no longer around.
28. Go Gurt:
AKA yogurt the way it was meant to be eaten: slopped through a tube.
29. Caprisun and Kool-Aid Jammers:
AKA liquid sugar, I’m sure.
30. These things:
AKA even more liquid sugar.
31. Push-Up Pops:
AKA a popsicle you can put in your pocket and save for later…maybe.
32. Worms in Dirt:
AKA the ULTIMATE DESSERT.
33. Mini M&Ms:
AKA the candy for the future pill-poppers of America.
AKA the grossest thing ever created…but somehow one of the more delicious ones.
35. And best of all, COSMIC BROWNIES:
THE BEST SNACK TO HAVE EVER EXISTED.
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