Gay Community Apologizes For Ruining Minnesota State Senator’s Marriage
This past week, Minnesota state senator Amy Koch (a supporter of a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage) admitted to cheating on her husband with a campaign staffer. Thankfully, the gay community in Minnesota realized that they were responsible for ruining the institution of marriage and apologized. Check out the amazing, tongue in cheek letter to Senator Koch below.
An Open Apology to Amy Koch on Behalf of All Gay and Lesbian Minnesotans
Dear Ms. Koch,
On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an “illicit affair” with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.
We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.
It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of “adultery.”
Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that “gay marriage” is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.
And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone’s family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.
From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.
Thank you.
John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN
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Miss Wrong a year agoI wish someone would apologize for ruining her hair color! You know, an 8N semi-permanent toner would do her some good!
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deleond2 a year agoIt really bothers me when a “CHRISTIAN” quickly brings up same sex marriage is not holy, but has no problems with people getting divorce. If you are going to be against SSM due to religious reasons (which I do not agree w/) at least be willing to be anti-divorce just as strongly. I grew up Catholic, and though I do not agree with everything they taught, at least they were consistent in their beliefs.
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stanleyhowards a year agoDoes Mrs. Koch have two very rich and extremely conservative, selfish uncles?
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jeremyw8 a year agoWhy is it okay for gays to troll, but Christians don’t get to talk at all? Not that most of the Christians who DO talk make much of a case for the rest, but this is just inflammatory, however right they may be. I just don’t get why it’s so okay for the LGBT “community” to play so dirty all the time. They can contribute as well as the rest of us, obviously, so why always fight so hard to be accepted by assholes?
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Whatthewhat a year agoSchadenfreude? Yes. But as a gay Minnesotan who has had a pit in the bottom of my stomach since she brought this amendment forward as the senate majority leader she deserves this. While she was ‘protecting marriage’ she was bonking her staffer. Her party swept into power saying jobs jobs jobs but the only thing they are interested in is hypocritical discrimination. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out c*nt.
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jerkassimo a year agothis:
“We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.”
-John Medeiros is just so brilliant i had to repeat it.
bravo. -
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Hipster Doofus a year agoWhat a c*nt. Wait, that doesn’t sound right.
What a way to act like a c*nt. -
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