2. This chubby hamster that finally realized he might be too old for the playground:
5. This pigeon who’s been hanging out with the wrong crowd:
Though kudos to you, pigeon, for not giving into peer pressure.
6. This deer that is spoiling his appetite with ice cream:
7. This giraffe that doesn’t know that you should never kiss like that on a first date:
8. This cat who should have auditioned for the part of George on “Seinfeld”:
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, cat. Should have given it a try.
9. This bird that still dresses like it’s 1987:
Come on, bird. Get with the times.
10. This duck with an afro that totally forgot to defrizz her hair this morning:
11. This boat full of pugs that are throwing caution to the wind and not wearing life jackets:
12. This turtle who just totally underestimated the distance he had to jump:
13. And this gorilla who thinks that a little glass is going to stop this child from getting her revenge:
You are so wrong, gorilla. So wrong.
14. This totally misunderstood goose who got into one fight and now has to deal with the consequences:
15. This horse that totally isn’t sticking to her diet plan:
Newsflash, horse! Diet Coke doesn’t make the meal healthy!
17. This dog that was woefully underprepared for the severe weather:
18. This goose who clearly had way too much to drink:
19. Same with this armadillo who doesn’t even remember how he got here:
20. And this orangutan who also partied way too hard:
21. This sea lion that had a little too much bath salts:
22. This teenage bearded dragon with go-go boots:
That’s no out-fit for someone your age, gecko! Don’t you watch Mad Men?
23. This dog celebrating her birthday who’s mom just had her fourth glass of wine:
Never celebrate your 21st with you Mom, dog. Never.
24. This surfing dog:
25. This goat that was forced to go see his friend’s bad metal band:
Hey, goat, at least now your friend owes you one.
And also this horse that just wanted to see what “being a tree was all about:”
27. This vegan cat that clearly picked the wrong restaurant:
- The U.S. will release Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard after 30 years. The move isn't tied to the Iran nuclear deal, American officials say.
- Officials released new footage proving Sandra Bland was "alive and well" when her mugshot was taken. The release aims to counter social media rumors that she was deceased in the photo.
- The NFL has upheld Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his alleged involvement with the deflation of footballs 🏈