2. They choose their dinner wines by label design.
3. This is your date night.
4. Their furniture is uncomfortable.
You get a hard Eames chair if you’re lucky. A throne of pencils if you’re not.
5. It takes months to replace a broken lamp because none of the ones you can afford look good enough.
You read that right. It’s $105,000.
6. Sometimes they’re too picky to even own furniture.
7. They inflict upon you a painful awareness of kerning.
8. They complain about new Adobe Suites the way other couples complain about their landlords.
9. Buying gifts for them is stressful. Nothing is cool enough.
10. If you’re buying books for them, you choose the cover designer carefully.
Cover design by Peter Mendelsund? Hell yes. By Chip Kidd? Depends how they feel about Chip Kidd.
11. You can’t find any books because they’re all organized by color.
12. Their fridge is stocked with weird food with great packaging.
And then they won’t throw away any packaging with elegant letterforms.
13. Your iPad app library consists entirely of sketching apps.
14. You put up with this because they make you thoughtful handcrafted gifts.
15. When you peek over their shoulders on weekends, their designs look like this…
…but by midweek, you’ll hear ALL about how their clients mangled it into this.
16. Before visiting their office, you expected their desk to look like this.
But you start worrying about them when you see this.
What is on that plate, exactly?
17. When you get married, you will have great looking invitations and programs!
18. Without their help, it’d probably look like this.
“Lay off Comic Sans, sweetheart. It ain’t the end of the world.”