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Can You Guess Which Of These Insane Things Actually Happened In Florida?

Yeah, that T-shirt miiiiiight have drawn a little attention.

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/story/28919880/woman-wears-wont-be-caught-t-shirt-while-robbing-store)

Woman Wears 'Won't Be Caught' T-Shirt While Robbing Store

Amazingly, that story also involves pepper spray and crack cocaine — but those couldn't even fit into the headline.

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.gainesville.com/article/20150505/ARTICLES/150509841/1182)

Knife-Wielding Man Tries To Get Imaginary Girlfriend From Garbage Truck, Deputies Say

Officers politely noted that the woman was found in the backseat "creating biohazard waste." That's one way to put it.

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/police-woman-intentionally-defecated-in-cruiser-after-arrest/2227720)

Police: Woman Intentionally Defecated In Cruiser After Arrest

But not a bad scene for a future Dave Barry novel, tbh.

Totally fake.

Bank Robber Attempts Getaway In Motorboat With Broken Motor, Still Attempts To Paddle Away From Cops

Almost as impressive: He actually made it out of the store before being caught.

[It happened in Florida.](http://patch.com/florida/newportrichey/watch-shoplifter-stuffs-chainsaw-down-his-pants)

Shoplifter Stuffs Chainsaw Down His Pants

Although a Florida man DID call 911 [to report problems with his Playstation back in December.](https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan/status/550119617361108992
)

Man Calls 911 To Ask For Help Finding His Remote

Taco Bell Employee Caught Urinating Out Drive-Thru Window

The craziest part about that headline: The word "again."

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.wesh.com/news/man-convicted-in-drunken-horse-riding-incident-arrested-again-in-flagler-county/29920920)

Man Convicted In Drunken Horse Riding Incident Arrested Again

The lawnmower escape is what gives it away. Only in Florida!

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/news/crime-law/pbso-man-escapes-on-lawnmower-from-intoxicated-mac/nkSYG/)

Man Escapes On Lawnmower From Intoxicated, Machete-Wielding Man

And yet a haunting reminder to always have a bottle opener on your person at all times.

It's fake.

Drunk Man Breaks Back Into Local Bar For One Last Beer, Can't Find Bottle Opener

Who tries to attack Roommate Jesus with a butter knife, honestly?

[It happened in Florida.](http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2014-04-08/news/os-atheist-attack-godless-lawyer-20140408_1_roomie-public-defender-atheist)

Atheist Calls For Godless Attorney After Butter-Knife Attack On Roommate Mistaken For Jesus

Rule of thumb: Maybe don't get in drunken fights with people who are currently holding an ax.

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/drunk-fla-stripper-attacks-boyfriend-ax-cops-article-1.1967254)

Drunk Stripper Attacks Boyfriend With An Ax

But here's a hypothetical question for the Floridians out there: Would you get a Publix neck tattoo in exchange for free groceries for life? (I say "no"... but you have to at least CONSIDER the offer, right? Right???)

College Student Sues Artist For Misspelling "Publix" On Neck Tattoo

Now we're just getting into potential Carl Hiaasen plotlines here.

Burglar Misplaces Keys, Arrested While Trying To Break Back Into His Own Car

Even worse news for the grandma: Local TV cameras just happened to be on the scene to capture her field sobriety test.

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.winknews.com/2015/04/17/bikini-wearing-naples-grandma-arrested-for-dui-crash-with-grandson-in-bmw/)

Bikini-Wearing Grandma Arrested For DUI Crash With Grandson In BMW

To be fair, "sex with tree" might not even be one of the 10 craziest phrases on this list.

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2015/04/man-has-sex-with-tree-florida.html)

Guy Has Sex With Tree After Taking This Weird New Drug

Quinceañera Ends In Drunken, Shirtless Brawl Over Tim Tebow Wager

What is with Florida and ironic T-shirts gone horribly wrong?

[It happened in Florida.](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/fla-man-wears-f-police-shirt-court-article-1.1965238)

Man Wears 'F--- The Police' Shirt To Court — And Wins The Case

[It happened in Florida.](http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/man-in-no-seriously-i-have-drugs-shirt-charged-with-1677808765)

Man In "No, Seriously, I Have Drugs" Shirt Charged With Drug Possession

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Can You Guess Which Of These Insane Things Actually Happened In Florida?

Everyone knows that when it comes to weird news, NOBODY does it better than Florida. But here's the question: Can you tell which of these is a Florida headline... and which we just made up?

Can You Guess Which Of These Insane Things Actually Happened In Florida?

Everyone knows that when it comes to weird news, NOBODY does it better than Florida. But here's the question: Can you tell which of these is a Florida headline... and which we just made up?

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