O’Hare Airport Is Just The Worst

Your flight is connecting through Chicago O’Hare International Airport. Congratulations, you’ve just booked a one-way ticket to hell.

1. So you’re going away this summer…


2. …and you got a great deal on your flight.


3. The only catch is that you couldn’t find a nonstop flight. I wonder where you’ll be connecting through?



4. Oh — it’s Chicago O’Hare International Airport.

Tim Boyle / Getty Images


6. Four terminals, nine concourses, and nearly 6 million passengers per month in the summertime.

Scott Olson / Getty Images

O’Hare handled 26 million passengers in just the first five months of 2013!

7. It’s like hell — if hell had moving walkways.


8. But the walkways never seem to be around when you’ve only got 25 minutes to make that connecting flight….

Tim Boyle / Getty Images

9. …and the gate you need to get to is a mile away.


10. Hope you enjoy sprinting through the airport with your carry-on bag!

11. Oh, and guess what? Your flight just got delayed! Sorry you had to run through the airport like a maniac for all that…

Scott Olson / Getty Images


O’Hare is No. 1 — at least when it comes to delays! Three out of every 10 flights at O’Hare this year have been delayed, ranking it last among all major American airports.

Spending day (and now it looks like night) in Chicago O'Hare was not what I'd planned. Autocorrect turned it to "chicago i hate" airport.

— Meghan O'Rourke (@meghanor)

Meghan O’Rourke


Spending day (and now it looks like night) in Chicago O’Hare was not what I’d planned. Autocorrect turned it to “chicago i hate” airport.

And of course, it wouldn't be a United Airlines flight if it wasn't delayed... #unitedsucks

— Peter Sciretta (@slashfilm)

Peter Sciretta


And of course, it wouldn’t be a United Airlines flight if it wasn’t delayed… #unitedsucks

12. And heaven help you if you have to actually go through security or customs.

Tim Boyle / Getty Images


The average wait time at O’Hare customs during busy hours: 63.6 minutes!

13. Of course, it cant really be all that bad, right? I mean who doesn’t love a needlessly humongous airport?


The property is so big, it actually stretches out over two counties. And if you laid out all of the O’Hare moving walkways end to end, they’d stretch more than 1.3 miles.

14. Especially when there are such comfortable places to relax.

Tim Boyle / Getty Images


15. First-class dining options.


16. The occasional monster attack or near-apocalyptic thunderstorm.


Also: How did those monsters get past TSA? I get a freedom search if I have three ounces of contact solution in my bag, but FREAKING ZOMBIES get through clean??

17. And let’s not forget about that excellent airline service!

Scott Olson / Getty Images

Trapped on the tarmac at O'Hare. This sucks. Thanks #americanairlines!

— Lonnell Williams (@3LWTV)

Lonnell Williams


Trapped on the tarmac at O’Hare. This sucks. Thanks #americanairlines!

Chicago, why did you send my bag to Charleston? That makes no sense at all. It should be in Wichita. No love. #ORDsucks

— Amanda Everlove (@A_Elove)

Amanda Everlove


Chicago, why did you send my bag to Charleston? That makes no sense at all. It should be in Wichita. No love. #ORDsucks

18. Thanks for everything, O’Hare!

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Dan Oshinsky is a newsletter editor at BuzzFeed and is based in New York.
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