1. When you’re tall, your biggest fear in the world are low-hanging ceilings.
2. You learn to cower near doorways.
3. And you’re helpless when sitting behind people who recline on airplanes — especially without asking first.
4. When you’re tall, you develop an inordinate fear of tree branches.
5. And of low-level sinks that’ll bring you — quite literally — to your knees.
6. And of hotel showers designed for ants.
7. When you’re tall, every ATM is an obstacle.
8. Every bed is too small.
9. Every umbrella spoke is a weapon pointed directly at eyeball level.
10. And every backseat requires contortionist-level skills.
11. When you’re tall, your worst nightmare involves tripping over a small child you didn’t see.
12. Or an adorable dog who barely comes up to your calf.
13. Or just accidentally throwing an elbow at a passerby — even though you didn’t even know they were nearby.
14. When you’re tall, you live in fear of your favorite pair of jeans accidentally shrinking in the dryer.
15. You deal with the terror of being yelled at by a fellow concert-goer for being in the way.
16. Or worse: Being told to “sit down!” when you already are sitting down.
17. When you’re tall, your struggle is being asked to go “back-to-back” when a fellow tall person is in the room.
18. Or of always being told to pose next to other tall things.
19. When you’re tall, you come to fear the four worst words in the English language: “How tall are you?”
20. Or worse: “Do you think you’re still growing?”
21. Or even worse: “Have you ever considered shopping at the Big and Tall store?”
22. Or worse than that: “What’s the weather like up there?”
23. OR WORST OF ALL: “Do you play basketball?”
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