If The Muppets Were Your Favourite Booze

Jim Henson or Jim Beam?!

It's time to pour the liquor; it's time to drink some shots. Please assure me that you sung that, right?!

You like alcohol. And you like The Muppets – you'd be lying to the entire cyberspace if you said otherwise. So let us go down this magical road together and picture what it would be like if The Muppets were alcohol.

If beer were a Muppet… Kermit

Disney / Via giphy.com

Everyone loves a beer. As does everyone love the jolly, green frog. Both of these entities welcomed us to the world of alcohol and the puppet gang, respectively. (If you didn’t know they were puppets, I’m so very, very sorry.)

And let’s face it, neither of the two can do any wrong in your eyes.

If rum were a Muppet… Miss Piggy

Disney / Via giphy.com

It seems so classy, sophisticated - just the mere thought of it makes you feel suave. You look at it and see glimmers and sparkles. This is sexy.

But with every passing minute, both rum and spending time with Miss Piggy seems like an increasingly bad decision, until it becomes a hellish monster.

If wine were a Muppet… Sam the Eagle

Disney / Via giphy.com

Both wine and Sam the Eagle seem cultured and sophisticated. The mere thought of it makes you feel enlightened.

But having spent an hour with either one of the two, and you'll end up fast asleep, immediately regretting all prior decisions.

If whisky were a Muppet… The Swedish Chef

Disney / Via giphy.com

Who doesn't love whisky? Who doesn't love the Swedish Chef? Exactly. No-one. But the similarities don't end there...

Whether you're watching the culinary great or necking a bottle of spirit, both will end in nonsensical rambling and a fridge being ravaged later that night.

If vodka were a Muppet... Walter

Disney / Via giphy.com

On their own, neither are brilliant. Heck, alone, they're probably not in anyone's top 30.

But mix either vodka or Walter with the rest of the gang, and you've got something absolutely brilliant.

If absinthe were a Muppet… Gonzo

Disney / Via giphy.com

Seriously... What the actual fuck is this?!