15 Steps To Schooling A Basic Bitch (with Help From Beyoncé, Naomi, The Queen And Mariah)

'Tis the season to tell a bitch the truth about her/himself.

1. Make an entrance.

You owe it to a truly basic bitch to show them how it is done.

2. Test the waters.

Is the bitch really coming for you or is it a false alarm fuelled by his/her complete irrelevance?

3. Give warning.

Due to their idiocy, basics really need their impending doom spelled out in graphic detail.

4. Actually, on second thought ...

This could be fun. Educating the basic about their own basocity burns HELLA calories.

5. Take a moment to collect yourself.

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6. Start off with an opening volley.

No use wasting your heavy artillery if you do not have to.

7. Lay down the truth.

I know you are basic.

You know you are basic.

Thus, the Word has been spoken.

8. Remind him/her who you are.

This is my castle. You just visit it.

9. Take a breather.

It is important to let your reading sink in.

10. Get ready for Round 2.

If the basic is still here, then it is time to cut to the chase.

11. Invoke a higher power.

Whatever God you believe in, she/he/they need to help you rebuke this harlot.

12. Go in the for the kill.

Time to end this once and for all.

13. Follow up with a self-esteem crusher.

Basics do not take hints well. Reinforce their basicosity very slowly and very carefully.

14. Brush him/her off.

Basic is contagious. Be sure to remove every last trace.

15. Sashay away.

On to bigger and better things.