The Top 14 Most Hilarious Cheese Names

When we think cheese, we think of names like cheddar, mozzarella, Brie, and Parmesan. These are common - and very popular - cheeses. However, if you dig through culture‘s Cheese Library, there are cheeses out there with pretty hilarious names. In fact, there are so many of these side-splitting cheese names that this article, which started as a top ten list, became a list of 14.

14. Dirt Lover

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Is this the cheese for those who actually ate dirt as a child? Or those whose favorite dessert growing up was the classic Dirt Cup (what's not to love about chocolate pudding, cookie crumbles, and gummy worms)? Most importantly, does this cheese taste like dirt? (It doesn’t, unless dirt in your locale tastes like delicious sheep's milk cheese.) But, aside from making you wonder where the name comes from, something about the name Dirt Lover just forces you to crack a smile.

13. Sgt. Pepper

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The inner Beatles fan in everyone will squeal with joy at the cheese name Sgt. Pepper. All we need are some Lonely Hearts Club Band crackers, and we have the perfect spread to serve at our “Yellow Submarine” and/or “Across the Universe” theme parties.

12. Little Dragon

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Cheese and dragons are not things most of us associate with one another. One is a delicious food that many people love, one is a ferocious beast that many people fear. Even though it’s just a Little Dragon, this tarragon covered chèvre doesn't seem ferocious enough for its name. It also makes me want to find and try other mythical-beast cheeses. Where is my Little Griffin cheese? Or the Little Unicorn cheese?

11. Dragon's Breath

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What’s even more interesting about this whole dragon-and-cheese situation is that there are two cheeses named after dragons. These dragon-named cheeses may seem strange to us, but I’m sure they have Daenerys Targaryen’s approval. And the approval of the Khaleesi is something we can all envy. (Want the real story behind the name Dragon's Breath Blue? Get it here.)

10. Acapella

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I might have some bias towards this pitch-perfect cheese. To anyone who was in an a cappella group in college, this cheese can bring back many happy memories. In fact, the cheesemaker for Andante Dairy (sensing a trend yet?) plays a mean classical piano. In addition to Acapella, her cheeses include Pianoforte, Picoto, and Metronome.

9. Timberdoodle

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Try saying the name of this cheese and keeping a straight face. It’s harder than you’d think. Part of the reason why this name is so funny is because these are two words you never thought would go together, let alone combined as the name of a cheese. Add that to the mental image of Ke$ha singing “It’s going down, I’m yelling Timberdoodle,” and keeping a straight face becomes nearly impossible.

8. Stinking Bishop

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This pungent, washed rind cheese has one of our all-time favorite names. It doesn't take much imagination to see why we find the name so funny. At first we were surprised to learn that the cheese is actually named after a variety of pear, which is used to make the brandy the cheese is washed with. But, no matter which was named first, Stinking Bishop is a win-win situation on the humor front.

7. Fat Bottom Girl

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If you want the real story behind how Fat Bottom Girl got its name, you'll have to read the Great Mistakes column in our Summer 2013 issue. But, even without knowing how Bleating Heart dairy owner Seana Doughty came up with the name, we can still appreciate its awesomeness. We just have one important question: Does Fat Bottom Girl make the dairyin’ world go round?

6. In Your Face

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Remember those Cheez-It commercials with the immature cheeses? I can just imaging one of those wheels yelling “What’s my name? It’s In Your Face!” It also reminds me of the awful ways kids backed up their “burns” in middle school. Either way, there’s something hilarious about a cheese so spicy that it either yells “in your face,” or makes you want to yell “in your face” when you eat it.

5. Ticklemore

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This certainly falls into the “it’s funny because it makes me uncomfortable” category. Few people, when being tickled, ask to be tickled more, so this name can cause a bit of confusion to cheese lovers. If it’s called Ticklemore because it tickles those who eat it in a good way, then that make more sense. Regardless, though, it’s a strange name for a cheese, but also ridiculously fun to say.

4. Tie: Eclipse and New Moon

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Much more amusing together than they are apart, I had to include Eclipse and New Moon as a tie because it's just absolutely hilarious to me that there is not just one, but are two cheeses that share a name with a novel in the Twilight saga. They also pose an interesting question: Were they named after the Twilight novels or were the Twilight novels named after them? It's probably neither, but I do like imagining Stephenie Meyer snacking on some New Moon while writing New Moon.

3. Vampire Slayer

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I thought Face Rock Creamery had gone all in with In Your Face, but then I found Vampire Slayer, which is an even better cheese name. All I can picture is this, the Sarah Michelle Gellar of cheeses, slashing up New Moon and Eclipse from above. Because - let’s be real - that’s how many of us wanted the Twilight series to end.

2. Barely Buzzed

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While this name makes me think of buzzed college students getting cravings for night cheese, the reality is even better than the imagining. In fact, this is not just an awesome name, but also a totally crazy idea for a cheese. Barely Buzzed is rubbed in espresso coffee grounds mixed with lavender. So, you tell us: Which is crazier? The name or the cheese itself?

1. Drunken Hooligan

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Barely Buzzed, you've been surpassed. Drunken Hooligan is one of several wine-washed cheeses with "drunken" in the name, but hooligan is soooo much better than, say, goat. While it's possible that the name is due to this odiferous cheese causing a ruckus, I prefer to envision a drunken hooligan eating cheese. Or, even better, a drunken goat eating Drunken Hooligan cheese!