This Is How They’re Selling Mobile Phones In Russia

I guess Russian women don’t use cell phones.

1. ” A High-quality network is vital on your business trips…”

“Don’t be alarmed. I’m a…fashion CEO.”

2. “Stay connected no matter where you are!”

Alien ass crack!

3. “Bothered by uncertainty? Consultant will help you!”

What sexual meaning does that swan tapestry hold?

4. “Time is money!”

(*Gawd*)

5. “Tourist, be aware that roaming can be ruining!”

Happy camel is happy.

6. “I prefer protected roaming!”

Leering man is parked at a green light, miss politsiya.

7. “Roaming is not a myth. Find out your price rate!”

No visible excitement underneath that ripped Centaur. Take him in, ladies. This is all you’re getting in this post.

8. “I will tell everything you want to know about roaming…”

Oh look: she reads Vogue, he noticed on the 7th viewing.

9. “Let’s make international relations stronger.”

Nothing racially insensitive here.

10. “Don’t forget that each hotel has WiFi zones for you!”

Oh look, a crab.

11. “The danger is in lack of mobile education!”

Anybody got a translation for what’s on the board?

12. “Calling your relatives from Paris, don’t forget to get information on your price rate.”

ARE WE DONE YET? YES? JESUS.

These are images from the company’s 2012 calendar, but are being used in current ads, too according to two sources I found. The campaign launched at the end of last year, and continues in 2012.

In Putin Russia, all men erect all the time.

Ad agency: unknown.