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The Bullshit Buzzwords Of Marketing

The synergistic modularity of this post is mission-critical. Guaranteed all real overheard snippets.

1. “Green shoots” are signs of economic recovery during a downturn. If I was in this meeting, I would unzip and shoot yellow on this report.

2. “KPIs” are Key Performance Indicators. “ROI” is Return On Investment. Add all this up, and you get a waste of breath, space, and time.

3. And a brand that captures your money, gains money.

4. From the desk of a lying sack of shit marketing sales manager.

5. FAST & ACTIONABLE 6! ALL DEADLINES LEAD TO THIS!

6. “How bout I stretch it to a 2-pager, sir, and show the CEO your Internet search history?”

7. Said in 2007 by the chief marketing officer of Crocs’ ad agency in an AdAge interview.

8. “We shit in our hand and squeeze it” means the exact same thing.

9. Bruce Greenwood can only speak in ad slogans in the new movie And Now A Word From Our Sponsor. Well, this guy can only speak in the worst marketing cliches.

PREVIOUSLY…


the BUZZWORD BULLSHIT DETECTOR.

Most of the above gems are via Marketing Fun and Fail.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

 
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