Awkward Phallic Symbols

10 photos + 1 video.

1. Ad for Naples Lumber via Florida.

2. Hey, 2 bones is a bargain for a “rocket” sweater.

4. This has something to do with nerds and science fiction and I’m too busy to actually research it. But PENIS SHIP.

5. The ejaculating volcano just adds to the wrongness.

6. They had to name it that.

7. It’s just a long, hard, pointy shoe, move on.

8. Yes cheerleader Mom, GO MEAT.

9. Nice logo, Dr. WOOD (L — semi-erect, R — fully erect).

10. Lastly, I had to include this Internet-famous Chiquita poster because I STILL can not believe it was a real ad (which it most definitely was).

BONUS: It’s an 8+ minute video of a man wearing a green bag over his head and purple socks making love to a huge Cheeto made out of hundreds of little Cheetos while chanting/singing “I love you Cheetos” over and over and over to an annoying techno track.

11. NOTE:


About half of these are via The Blog of Unnecessary Phallic Symbols, who haven’t published an update since May 30th, which perturbs me.

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