14 Ineffective Car Alarm Notes

“Brick/rock through your windshield” is popular, but so, so expected. These people need to hire me. I’d give them creative causticity.

1.

The added-on handwritten note tells me you’re not up to it.

2.

Proactive citizen speaks for all “the people of New York.”

3.

Pink paper, + “p.s. you rock” = more sleepless nights.

4.

Very Passive-Aggressive. Still, he of course slips in the “rock/brick—windshield” comment.

5.

Move to Canada? Please.

6.

Not afraid to be service-y.

7.

So pissed off, he/she couldn’t think/write right.

8.

The alarm isn’t “dumb” but you are.

9.

Hey Douchebag Cunt, they have your VIN#! I’m sure you’re shaking with fear.

10.

“Die in a Fire” is decent. But the cute sketch tells the person you’re not serious.

11.

Oooooh, menacing via Sharpie.

12.

ALL the windows. COMMITMENT. This is the best of the lot. I almost believe him.

13.

Non-specific threats show weakness of will.

14.

Note gang-banging probably just makes him feel loved.

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