11 Stupid Valentine’s Day Ads

Let’s properly celebrate this wonderful holiday rooted in 2,000 year-old martyrdom — with lots of bad penis jokes.

1. Wurst

Wurst is a Bavarian restaurant and beer hall in Calgary.
There will be many men (and some women) begging their lovers to do anal for the first time on the 14th.

ID: 849799

2. Fart By Mail

Video available at:

This does not appear to be a secret ad for Gas-X.
You can order one here (it costs $8.99).
Your fart is delivered in a pink envelope. You can either warn your lover with a printed message, or send it stealthily. When he/she opens the envelope, he/she is met with a “hilarious fart sound,” and a “heinous odor.”

ID: 849988

3. Bud Light

Speaking of farts…

ID: 850003

4. Summer’s Eve

Ladies, make sure your Down There is up to snuff for the BIG NIGHT.

ID: 849965

5. Tampax (Italy)

It’s not perfectly clear, but sensitive Italian man appears to be praying to Mother Nature that…There Will Not Be Blood.

ID: 849969

6. Nakshatra diamond jewelry (India)

If she was having her period, that would be a blood diamond.

ID: 850006

7. Dick Smith Electronics

Dick’s often does erudite double dick entendre in its ads.

ID: 849953

8. Sexy Avenue Sex Shop

Laziest penis artwork ever.

ID: 850016

9. Swatch

Swatch makes the landmark discovery that a heart looks like an ass.

ID: 849973

10. Ann Summers Lingerie

If you don’t figure out the heavy-handed knee-slapper of a joke in this commercial within 20 seconds, you’re an idiot.

ID: 850001

11. McDonald’s (France)

And the winner is…
Yes, this was a real ad that ran in France.

ID: 849958

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