Not So Happy Happy Happy…

THANK THE LORD, THEY’RE NORMAL AFTER ALL.

Be honest, haven’t you ever wondered “how are you people so hillbilly and perfectly awesome at the same time?”

ANYBODY?

Well gaddddammaat, I wondered that from day one.

Don’t get me wrong, I watch Duck Dynasty religiously and am totally okay with admitting that if I had to choose between a hot date or an episode of Duck Dynasty…I would choose DD w/ a bag of hot fries any day. Yeah, I know. Whatever. NO JUDGEMENT ZONE HERE GUYS.

Anyways, I digress. It turns out the Robertson clan hasn’t always been so happy happy happy. Aside from a pretty serious alcohol addiction, Phil Robertson was actually a wanted fugitive after savagely beating the landlords of an old dive bar he leased, which ultimately sent the couple to the hospital. Phil ended up living in the woods for 4 months, fleeing from state troopers. 4 FREAKING MONTHS.

Lovely Miss Kay ended up reconciling with the landlords, who ended up dropping the charges and only filing a restraining order against Phil. Real talk though, the man lived in the woods, under the radar, and away from law enforcement detection for 4 MONTHS. He can probably watch you take a shit, eat your waffles, and use your toothbrush and you wouldn’t even know.

Phil even kicked Miss Kay and the boys out of their home after refusing Miss Kay’s request for him to stop drinking. It was the moment Phil found God that marked a time for change. It turned the downhill spiral into a gradual uphill climb for the entire family.

Here’s a video of Miss Kay talking about the all so real dark past a lot of us are unaware of.

REALLY THOUGH, hasn’t your opinion changed a little especially after learning some of the hard truths about the Robertson Clan?

I don’t know about you, folks but I love the Robertson’s even MORE now. They come from hard beginnings and know the true meaning of being humble. They deserve every cent they’ve earned. Phil Robertson overcame a drinking problem, patented his multimillion dollar idea/company Duck Commander, got his lady back, AND raised some of the most hilarious boys on television.

What did YOU do this morning, Kim Kardashian?

I use to get kind of annoyed of Miss Kay. NOT NO MO.
S/O to Miss Kay for being the powerhouse she is. YOU GO, GIRL!

QUACK PACK FOR LIFE!

If my future man can’t grow a beard like that, GET TO STEPPIN’ JACK!

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