7 Ways To Ruin St. Patrick's Day

America is most likely to blame for the desecration of this holiday. Big surprise. The real St. Patrick is probably rolling in his grave over these shenanigans.

1. Wear a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt

No. Being 1/2000987 Irish doesn't count. You're just stupid enough to buy this shirt at Walmart.

2. Dye EVERYTHING green

Seriously. We get the whole "Emerald Isle" thing. But let's not poison everyone with green food coloring, okay?

3. Wear this hat.

You probably have enough to regret. Don't add this to the list.

4. Get So Drunk You Forget What Day It Is

Wow. Way to honor St. Patrick. I'm sure he'd be sure proud of you using this holiday as another excuse to act like a fool.

5. Say "Luck O' The Irish"

A. This poster is the worst juxtaposition of slogans possible B. What the heck does it even mean? C. Hmmmm does the Potato Famine, mass migration and Celtic Tiger recession seem lucky to you?

6. Eat Corned Beef and Cabbage

Yep. You guessed it...not from Ireland. The immigrants made it popular in New York, but you should stick with Dublin coddle, Irish stew or soda bread if you want to be traditional.

7. Believe Lies About St. Patrick

Patrick was actually British. Oops. Oh, and he didn't drive the snakes out of Ireland because there weren't any. Also, he may have used the shamrock to explain the Trinity, but it's not a 'four-leaf clover.' Yay history!