1. Because you have a boyfriend, your friends think all you do is sit at home and play with your pet.
2. They get nervous to invite you out with them, but they bite the bullet and do so anyways.
3. There are a couple episodes of Catfish that you’ve DVR’d… But you force yourself out to prove to them that you’re still young and vibrant.
As much as you don’t really care.
4. So you say yes and your friends ACT LIKE YOU’VE NEVER GONE OUT WITH THEM BEFORE.
5. Total lies. Remember college?
6. They think you’re reacting like this.
7. BUT YOU’RE TOTALLY NOT.
8. They take forever to make up their minds on outfit choices.
9. And they are meticulous about their make-up.
10. All the while, you spend more time making a mental grocery list for tomorrow than doing your make-up for that night. IS THAT WRONG?
That’s only because you saw this really tricky recipe for a stuffed chicken dish and you can’t forget any of the ingredients or it’ll be ruined.
11. Your friends make a grand entrance to the party.
12. SHOULD YOU TRY TO DO THE SAME?
13. Nah, let them have the attention. You casually sneak in behind them.
14. Your friends are taking shots and chuggin’ beers because they’ve spotted cute guys and they need a reason to make bad decisions.
15. WHAT DO YOU DO?
16. You go straight for the wine bottle. It’s a better buzz and easier hangover tomorrow when you and the bf want to go for an early morning hike.
17. This party also has a small platter of appetizers that no one’s eating.
18. DO YOU EAT THE FOOD?
19. Yes you do. Because you DGAF. It’s worth it.
20. Your friends are dancing like sexy single ladies.
23. DO YOU JOIN THEM?
25. You try, but it’s difficult when you have no rhythm.
26. God, your friends are being all post-haircut Miley.
27. Making out with dolls and shit…
28. But you’re still pre-haircut Miley.
29. NO ONE TAUGHT YOU HOW TO TWERK.
30. I guess you were busy when that memo came through.
31. Now, your friends want to pop over to a club to party some more.
32. They think the guys there are going to be fun and quirky and husband material.
33. When most are actually closer to this guy.
Slightly psychotic being the nicest way of putting it.
34. AND YOU’RE LIKE
35. Ok, that’s dramatic. But you’re really thinking: “I wish I had my laptop with me so I could sneak in an episode of ‘Orange is the New Black.’”
36. But you’re friends start dancing on tables like they’re drunker than they actually are.
37. They want you to get up there with them. They don’t say this, but their look reads, “Get up here now you slut, or you can’t sit with us anymore.”
38. WHAT DO YOU DO?
39. You stay on the ground. You are your own woman.
40. They get all accusatory and treat you like a curmudgeonly biotch.
41. You’re getting worried because they’re getting really naughty drunk up on the tables and they’ve somehow found a pole to grind on.
42. So you drag them out and herd them home.
43. You tuck them into bed. And what response do you get?
44. YOU GET AN EYE ROLL.
45. AND A “WHATEVER.”
47. You love your friends, but really, it’s just that you are so much more comfortable being yourself with your boyfriend.
He lets you be as weird as you want to be.